Fury Over Woman Telling Husband Not to Leave Inheritance to Adopted Kids

A mom-of-three has sparked outrage on social media after trying to convince her husband to give less of his inheritance to two of his kids because they are adopted.

Her partner had planned on splitting the money left by his late mother evenly between biological son Ethan, 16, and his adopted siblings Aiden, 16 and Gracie, 12, with the funds going towards their college educations.

But while his wife Ami was apparently happy for the money to go to Ethan she felt their two adopted children should receive "only part" in a suggestion that has torn the family apart.

Her stance brings to mind a concept called "Kin selection theory," the evolutionary theory that says parents direct more favorable behavior to biologically related children than their unrelated ones.

In a 2015 study published in the journal Evolution and Human Behavior, researchers put the idea to the test by comparing data on 135 pairs of "virtual twins", a term referring to siblings of around the same age where there was one adopted child and one biological one or simply two adopted children.

The results showed that parents tended not to favor their biological children over their adopted ones. Though their adopted children scored higher on negative traits like arrogance, their scores were similar to their biological children when it came to positive attributes.

The father posting to Reddit under the handle Late-Statement8422 certainly appears to put all three of his kids on an equal footing, having adopted Aiden and Gracie a decade ago.

"We have college funds for all three children with the same amount in, so they will be able to afford to go if they decide to," he explained.

When his mom passed, he said she left him a "lot of money" which he decided to use to "fund their accounts" rather than pay off their mortgage.

However, his wife, Ami, got upset with how much money it's going to cost to put them all through college. When he confronted her over the matter, an argument ensued in which she apparently told him she was "happy to fund Ethan's college but only part for Aiden and Gracie."

"I told her this isn't fair as they are all our kids, not just Ethan," the dad wrote. "He doesn't mean more just because he has our DNA."

However, she felt she "deserves stuff too" and spending all their money on the three kids means she "doesn't get what she wants."

Ami walked out on the family a few days later, with Aiden later apologizing to his dad for "causing a fight," though he was appreciative of the fact he "stood up for him and Gracie."

Though he insisted he was not ready to "give up" on Ami and their marriage and was convinced there was more to her complaints than meets the eye, he said that if she was simply being "greedy and selfish then she can forget about having any kind of relationship."

But while he appeared eager to keep the door open to reconciliation, others online felt he was better off slamming it shut.

Forward_Squirrel8879 said: "I do not trust someone who could think and speak that way about children they have been raising for a decade." Beneficial_Ship_7988, meanwhile, commented: "I can't imagine adopting two blessings and then denying them anything that I'm able to give to make sure they have a secure, wonderful life."

GlassSandwich9315 added: "It's absolutely horrible that your wife apparently thinks less of two of your kids because they're adopted" with 3rd-Time-Lucky concluding: "There is no coming back from what she said AND the kids heard her say it."

While this represents an extreme case, Professor Lisa Doodson, who runs the website happysteps.co.uk, told Newsweek it's important for all children, adopted or otherwise, to be treated equally.

"Children will recognize where there is an imbalance and this can affect the relationship not just with their caregivers but also the other children," she said. "The ones who are being treated better will feel guilty and the others will feel rejected. The imbalance may also affect the relationship between the children."

Even so, she appreciates that each individual case is "nuanced" and other factors can play a role in any potential imbalance. The key is communication. "As long as you could look them in the face and explain why there are perceived imbalances then you should be on the right track," Doodson said.