Why Dad of Twins Refuses to Fund Son's College Dragged: 'Favoritism'

The internet slammed a dad for "showing favoritism" to his daughter after he held his son to financial goals set when he was a child.

In a post on Reddit's popular AmITheA****** (AITA) forum, user u/throwRA_saveyodalla explained how he had gotten into an argument with his ex-wife and son due to a disparity in college funds between the kids.

"My ex-wife and I have been divorced for 7 years now. We have twins, both 17. My wife and I are the stereotype of high school sweethearts. I'm more of a geek. She was a cheer leader. My son takes after my wife and my daughter take after me," the Redditor wrote. "When they were younger, I gave them the option of allowance. They could either spend the money on what they wanted to or I could walk them through investments and savings."

At first, both children agreed to learn how to invest their money. Each child was given a set amount of money and started to look at investments and savings.

"My son put his into a very risky investment, against my advice, and ended up losing it and decided not to do it anymore within a few weeks," said the dad. "My daughter started off rough but quickly got the hang of it. Playing with different investments and companies. She has been in the positive most weeks."

But issues had come up when the co-parents recently found out that their daughter has saved substantially more money than her brother.

"My daughter's interests are more minimalistic when it comes to most things and does not spend a lot of money," the Redditor wrote. "My son on the other hand spends most of his money when he gets it. Always has new clothes constantly, bought a new, very expensive car with payments, goes out all the time, and spends everything he gets."

With college coming up, the twins are both looking to their financial futures. While the parents had put away a fixed amount of money for both kids' college educations, the daughter now has more options than her brother when it comes to choosing where to go to school due to the extra money she's saved. Now, the son can't go to the school he wants to attend because he'd have to take out a loan to cover the additional costs.

"I told them that they had a choice when he was younger and he didn't listen," the father wrote on Reddit. "I also pointed out the fact that if he had saved his money, he would have also been able to go where he wanted. He needed to get a job to cover costs if he wanted to go. And life was about choices."

But his ex-wife and her side of the family were furious and suggested that he should still help his son with money because he "easily could."

In thousands of replies, Reddit users overwhelmingly slammed the man for refusing to help his son.

"I think you're the a****** in general. Right now you have a choice of helping your kid get a start on his adult life and you're using it to make some sort of ideological point instead of helping him," said one commenter. While another wrote: "You set him up to fail. You were a crappy parent allowing a child to make adult decisions with no safety net."

Far from the first time a college fund has become the subject of debate online, another couple was recently dragged on AITA for refusing to give their daughter her college fund because she didn't attend graduate school.

Christina Curtis, Founder of Curtis Leadership Consulting and author of the new book "Choosing Greatness: An Evidence-Based Approach to Achieving Exceptional Outcomes" told Newsweek: "At a younger age, the brain is not fully developed and can't properly connect the dots between risky decisions and the consequences to come. In this case, the father's lack of safeguards around what investments the kids could make was likely detrimental both in terms of his son's pocketbook and his beliefs around money long-term."

But Curtis did agree that talking to children about money is an important part of parenting.

"Teaching children the importance of earning, saving, and investing is a critical life lesson that many parents miss—and you can't start early enough. I applaud this father's commitment to teaching his children these skills early. Until they are the right age, however, it's important to keep the process safe without long-term consequences," she said.

"I mean, you did treat your children equally. And you have no obligation to pay for their school," said another commenter. "But I also don't think that children should be responsible for making financial decisions that impact their future."

Newsweek has reached out to u/throwRA_saveyodalla for comment. We were not able to verify the details of this case.

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