I lost my mom way too soon to cancer. It was 13 years ago this year. I remember her shaking hand in mine, the antiseptic smell and beeps of the hospital, my heart breaking open, and how hard she fought to stay with us like it was yesterday.
Mother's Day brings up all the feelings at the same time for so many of us: The deep ache of loss for our mothers, grandmothers, for the children we've never had, and sometimes for children who've gone before us; the enduring love of family; the awe of being a mom with a love for our kids stronger than words can say; the sharp frustration of the impossibility about mothering in America; and a full range of complicated emotions.
Rarely are all eyes on moms in the way they are on Mother's Day, so as the spotlight shines on flowers for moms, it also needs to shine on the impossibility of mothering in America—and the changes we need to make as a nation so the impossible becomes possible.
It shouldn't be as hard as it is to be a mom in America in the year 2024.
But it is.
Our country still doesn't have the basic systems for moms, families, businesses, and our economy to thrive that most other nations have long had in place. Systems like paid family and medical leave for when a new child arrives or a serious health crisis strikes us or a close family member, so we don't get pushed out of our jobs and take a deep dive into economic instability. Like access to affordable childcare so parents can go to work, kids can thrive, and care workers can earn living wages. Like aging and disability care, that would allow moms not to be squeezed between caring for the younger generation, the older generation, and themselves, all while working.
The United States also lacks access to a full suite of reproductive health care options, including abortion. We need to be able to choose whether we're going to have children, and if so when. After all, most women who have abortions are already mothers. For those who want to become mothers, a lack of equity in health care has led to a spike in the percentages of mothers that are dying before their first Mother's Day. That must change.
All these basic pro-mother, pro-family, pro-business, pro-economy provisions are possible. We know how to write the policies and implement them. We just need Republicans to stop blocking care-economy policies from passing; and we need to back up Democrats, including President Joe Biden, as they thankfully keep pushing these much-needed policies forward like they've been doing. And we need not to give up on one another, but persistently raise our voices for the changes we need for moms, our families, our businesses, and our economy to thrive.
By working collectively We can fix the care crisis in America. We can fix the broken childcare system, where childcare currently costs more than college. We can advance fair pay so that when we work hard, we can afford housing and food. We can improve access to aging and disability care so everyone can age with dignity. We can advance maternal justice policies so that we're no longer the only industrialized nation where maternal mortality is rising. We can also move maternal health equity forward so that Black women are no longer dying preventable deaths in childbirth at a rate three times as high as white women as a result of structural racism.
Studies show that passing all of these policies together will significantly help break down the maternal wall: Being a mom is a greater predictor of wage and hiring discrimination than gender, and because of structural racism, moms of color are experiencing compounded wage discrimination to the extent that Latina moms earn just 46 cents to a white dad's dollar and Black moms just 52 cents.
It doesn't have to be this way, and Mother's Day, when all eyes are on moms, is the time to build momentum for the solutions we all know we need.It's a time to let leaders know what we really need: Change.
Kristin Rowe-Finkbeiner is executive director and co-founder of MomsRising.org, a nonprofit national organization that supports policies to improve family economic security. She is the author of "Keep Marching: How Every Woman Can Take Action and Change Our World."
The views expressed in this article are the writer's own.
Uncommon Knowledge
Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.
Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.
