Man Not Allowing Passenger to Sit on Empty Seat Next to Him Sparks Debate

A man on a plane who started loudly complaining about an empty seat not being available to him has stirred up a storm of discussion on Reddit.

Frederik, a 29-year-old software developer based in Belgium, told Newsweek that he encountered the man on a three-hour flight while traveling from Istanbul, Turkey, to Brussels, the Belgian capital, with his friend who has severe social anxiety.

Frederik said his friend was diagnosed with having social anxiety by a medical professional two years ago. She has had the condition for as long as she can remember, he said, adding that "I believe it worsened around the age of 11 to 12."

Frederik, who revealed only his first name, shared a post about the incident 11 days ago on Reddit under his username Dramatic_Safe_4257.

He and his friend were flying in economy class and "sitting all the way to the back of the plane on the left side," Frederik said.

His Reddit post added that they "paid extra for the third seat in our row because my friend has severe social anxiety and this was her first time flying."

Another passenger later came over and sat on the armrest of the empty seat and the poster "immediately tapped him on the back and told him the seat was not available because we paid for it. He seemed skeptical, but stood up and started loudly complaining about it to his relatives and mocking me," Frederik wrote in the post.

"I feel like the staff should have done more about it. I don't fly often so I wouldn't know, but aren't you supposed to remain seated, unless you have a good reason not to?" Frederik asked in the post.

Should the flight crew have intervened to help the poster in this scenario?

Etiquette expert Nick Leighton told Newsweek: "Why is it that airplanes tend to bring out the worst in people? This harassment was definitely rude (when is harassment not?) and it would have been absolutely appropriate to loop in a flight attendant to help."

Etiquette expert Michelle McMullen told Newsweek that "the man in the aisle was being a jerk. When you pay for an extra seat, it is yours, period."

Conflicts over seats on a plane are bound to come up often, with air travel seeing continued strong growth in the post COVID-19-pandemic era. In November 2023, globally traffic was reported to be at 99.1 percent of November 2019 (pre-pandemic) levels, according to the latest report from the International Air Transport Association.

'Wasn't a Good Call'

Frederik told Newsweek that he addressed the male passenger only when he began using the armrest as a chair. "I told him politely that the seat was paid for, despite being empty at that point."

In the Reddit post, Frederik said that, after being told the seat was unavailable, the man "stood next to us in the aisle during the majority of the flight and kept being loud and very gestural" and "a member of the staff even told him to keep it down at one point."

The male passenger "leaned really close to me with his a**, possibly as a way to provoke me," Frederik wrote on Reddit, adding that "I was sitting close to the aisle at that point because my friend was taking a nap and resting her legs in the middle."

The poster told Newsweek that he never alerted the flight staff about what was happening, but "I think that letting someone stand in the aisle and be as loud as he was for the majority of the flight wasn't a good call on their part; I have trouble believing that I was the only one who was bothered by it. Then again, I think I could've been less passive too."

In the Reddit post, "even after the flight, he kept going on about it to his relatives and giving me dirty looks," Frederik wrote, "but I just laughed at him because I feel he was making a spectacle of himself."

The Only Thing You Can Control Is Your Own Behavior

McMullen, who is the founder of the MGM Etiquette, a "soft skills training" organization based in Dallas, Texas, said: "The only thing you can control in this situation is your own behavior. Don't resort to the same rude behavior as the man in the aisle."

McMullen added that the poster should work on setting boundaries, noting that "in my experience, bullies will keep pushing until you push back."

However, "that said, you need not be rude," McMullen added. "While seated in the aisle seat, it would have been appropriate to let him know that he was leaning into your space."

McMullen said you should "only say it once; kindly, directly, and firmly," adding that "it's all about the tone of your voice."

If the passenger does not comply, "you ring the call button and tell the flight attendant with the same kind but firm tone," McMullen said.

Leighton, who is the co-host of the weekly comedy podcast Were You Raised by Wolves?, agreed that it is a good idea to alert the flight staff.

"A good approach, whenever there's an issue with a fellow passenger that doesn't feel resolvable on your own, is often to privately head to the back galley to fill a flight attendant in on what is going on and then let them handle things from there," Leighton said.

'If You Don't Ask for Help, You Won't Get Any'

The latest post has sparked debate among users on Reddit, with some siding with the original poster.

These-Confidence-18 wrote: "You paid for it, no amount of his complaining is going to change that."

User ghrutnsn posted: "Absolutely NTA [not the a******]. But next time, be less passive. Page a flight attendant, as many times as you need."

Others agreed that the original poster should have alerted the staff about the incident.

LadyOfSighs commented: "How can you expect them to intervene if you don't ask them to? They're not mind readers."

User lostmindz agreed, saying, "if you don't ask for help, you won't get any."

Some defended the other man, such as Emergency_Fig5584 who wrote: "... you're allowed to stand in the aisle and walk around the cabin? Have you never been on a long flight before? People just get up and walk around and hang out."

However, DrStrangepants posted: "I wouldn't say this situation is common, especially since a 3 hour flight is very short. I see people taking little walks and stretching when flying overseas but standing in the aisle and having loud conversations is obnoxious as f***."

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