Mom Slammed for Reason She's Crushing Daughter's Dreams: 'Breaks My Heart'

A mom has drawn criticism for "crushing" her 12-year-old daughter's dream of being a professional gymnast.

In a Reddit post shared by u/Throwawaytallgymnast, the mom detailed how her daughter is "totally hooked" on gymnastics training 20 hours a week and weekend after weekend.

There's just one problem. "She is 5'7 already and still growing," her worried mom wrote. "Being 5'7 basically kills her chance of going to the Olympics."

She said that gymnastic scholarships are "already rare" but even rarer still for someone of her height. While devastated for her, the mom wrote: "I cannot justify blowing thousands of dollars a year and hundreds of hours in time every year to gamble on something with so little chance of success."

The allure of sporting success is something kids are all too aware of. However, what many fail to acknowledge are the slim odds of achieving that dream and the need to retain outside interests.

In a 1999 survey of 1,500 children conducted by the Henry Kaiser Family Foundation, researchers found that 24 percent of children aged 10 to 17 felt that it wasn't necessary to study hard and finish school if you were successful at sports.

Yet to come close to achieving this kind of dream only to fail and have nothing to fall back on is a concern for countless parents of kids with aspirations of making it .

Those concerns are what prompted this particular mother to hit her daughter with a painful dose of reality about her height. "Her academics are suffering because of her gymnastics commitment," she concluded. "The band aid is better ripped off earlier than later."

Her daughter did not take the news well. "She cried and cried and cried, locking herself in her room, refusing to eat, saying maybe if she doesn't eat, she will become shorter," the mom wrote.

"Frankly, it breaks my heart to tell her to give up something she has worked so hard for.... She would get a much better reward if she channels her hard work elsewhere, like in school."

Though she insisted she wants "the best for her," the 12-year-old has been left devastated by her mom's comments.

Olivia Baggett, licensed master social worker, clinician and family care coordinator at the Berman Center told Newsweek that rather than stop her daughter from engaging in gymnastics, the mom would be better served by trying to strike a balance between her daughter's passion for the sport and other concerns.

"Engaging in activities that you are passionate about can be a protective factor against depression, anxiety, and other mental health symptoms. Passion can create motivation, boost focus, allow for greater creativity, and can increase happiness," she said.

Baggett added: "While honoring passion is important, it is also important to promote and model balance for children. This may look like having a conversation around encouraging the child to have a greater balance between family life, school, friends, and gymnastics. Instead of using the child's height, body shape, and size as a factor in why the mom won't support the child's dream, the mom might help her daughter gain greater balance by encouraging time with friends, family, and other activities. Adolescence is a critical period for body image development. It is important that we encourage teens that how they look is not a limiting factor in what they can do and achieve."

She suggested the mom and daughter collaborate on a schedule that allows the latter more time to see family and friends while keeping up with her school work and social activity outside of gymnastics.

Many commenting on social media were similarly critical of the mom's decision to try and stop her daughter from doing gymnastics altogether rather than dial it down. Sheramom4 said: "You are taking away her passion instead of trying to come up with a compromise that still allows her to train and participate in what she loves."

Others, like Reluctantagave, could see both sides, writing: " School should come first at that age. Maybe make a deal with her that she has to improve her grades?" Siraldake even defended the mom's stance, commenting: "It's not about crushing the kid's dreams or being critical of her body type or any of that. The problem is that she's too tall to perform the skills safely."

However, some like Sangy101 felt the mom was failing to see the bigger picture and there were other untold benefits to her daughter's interest in gymnastics. "You're teaching your daughter that the only reason to do something is if you're going to make it your life or go pro," they wrote. "Don't teach your daughter to give up on something she loves just cos she isn't in the top 1 percent. Being in the top 10 percent is fine. Being in the top 95 percent is fine. As long as she loves it and she's happy and healthy."

Newsweek reached out to u/Throwawaytallgymnast for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.

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