Man Confronting Wife in Front of Her Friends About Bad Habit Applauded

A man confronting his wife about her bad habit in front of her friends has been applauded online, as he voiced concerns over her smoking.

He shared his story to Reddit's Am I The A**hole forum, where he asked for advice over his actions.

The Redditor, posting under username u/GabrielForests, revealed his wife was a social smoker and lit up "every now and then."

Cigarette smoke is responsible for 480,000 deaths each year, including from second-hand smoke, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC.)

"Cigarette smoking causes about one of every five deaths in the United States each year," the site said.

"Life expectancy for smokers is at least 10 years shorter than for nonsmokers. Quitting smoking before the age of 40 reduces the risk of dying from smoking-related disease by about 90%."

The CDC states quitting reduces the risk of premature death, increases life expectancy and improves overall health.

"Quitting smoking is one of the most important actions people can take to improve their health. This is true regardless of their age or how long they have been smoking," the site said.

The man's concern was amplified as his wife was recently diagnosed with a genetic disorder, called Factor V Leiden, which causes blood clots to form easily.

The Redditor, from "the Carolinas," explained his wife's genetic disease saw her hospitalized for a fortnight around 6 months ago, and she will be on medication for life.

The Mayo Clinic explained more about her condition, saying: "This mutation can increase your chance of developing abnormal blood clots, most commonly in your legs or lungs."

The abnormal clots "can lead to long-term health problems or become life-threatening."

Statista's chart below shows the benefits of quitting.

You will find more infographics at Statista

Despite her mutation, and the risks associated with smoking, she still indulged in a cigarette.

Her husband wrote: "She's a social smoker it only does it every now and then, typically with her friends and when she's having a drink. However I've explained to her how dangerous it is coupled with her medical condition to be smoking at all.

"I haven't made much progress and she smoked a number of times (3-4) since she's left the hospital." He later clarified she smoked numerous cigarettes on those occasions.

He continued: "Finally yesterday at a party I confronted her in front of her friends (7 or so at a party at our house) and I told them how serious her condition is.

"I was very polite and I asked them for their help to try to influence her to stop. I apologize for having to bring this up at a party but it's very serious and I'm worried that she will not stop without their insistence.

"Obviously she's very annoyed at me and hasn't spoken to me for the last day."

Confronting loved ones about detrimental behavior is delicate, and can backfire. Louise Ross, business development manager of the Smoke Free app, told Newsweek the situation was difficult, as she shared six tips.

Tips on Encouraging People to Quit Smoking

• Don't shame them. When someone feels they're under attack, or ganged up on, they won't be receptive and may become even more resistant. They may even start smoking secretly, which will bring more stress and conflict into the relationship. Avoid making them feel cornered.
• Start a non-threatening conversation, and be genuinely interested. 'What is it that you enjoy about smoking?' 'Are all cigarettes equally satisfying, or just some?' These questions may sow the seeds of doubt about smoking in their mind.
• Take it a step further 'Do you think you'll smoke for the rest of your life?' If the answer is No, ask 'What would it take to make you think about stopping?'
• Talk to someone else to get your thoughts clear about how to tackle this, but use one of your friends, not one of your partner's! It'll only get back to them.
• Help them think about substituting a vape for some cigarettes; this may be a lot less scary, and we know that accidental quitting, when someone who smokes tries a vape, is quite common and a nice surprise all round.
• If they do stop smoking, you'll need to tread a fine line. Too ecstatic and you'll drive them crazy, not enough attention and they may start again out of frustration at not having their efforts appreciated. Listen to how they're feeling, and show that you're quietly proud of them!

The post, which can be read here, amassed more than 7,500 upvotes and comments, while the top comment, from Kaizersigma, racking up nearly 10,000 upvotes alone.

It said: "I'll probably be in the minority here but NTA. You don't want your partner that you care and love for to end up in the hospital again or worse, die so yeah I think it is justified. I mean between 'embarrassing' the partner or not let her get life threatening issue, it is not a hard decision to make.

"People here just only care "oh she's a grown woman and can make her own decision." Anyone here who have some sense would do the same for their loved one or try something because they actually care."

Agreeing, Cocreat said: "This is an intervention. They're not fun, sometimes they backfire, but sometimes they save lives. NTA."

Columbospeugeot wrote: "Your wife wants to smoke more than she wants to live. I don't blame you for trying whatever tactics are at your disposal. NTA."

InflationSensation13 added: "NTA. But in the end, it's your wife's decision. You need to decide if you want to be left paying her medical bills."

In response, GabrielForests added: "After the party her best friend came up to me and gave me a hug, saying how right I was to bring it up and how she's going to help however she can. If I can get her help I have a strong chance to get ahead of this before my wife becomes a 2 pack a day type of person."

Newsweek contacted u/GabrielForests for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.