Sophie Grégoire Trudeau, Canada's former unofficial first lady, has been a mental health campaigner and humanitarian for more than two decades. But her latest project may be her most personal: she's authored a book on taking charge of one's mental health and wellness journey.
"I always look for that sense of integrity inside of me. Is it the right thing to do? And is it what I do in life?" Grégoire Trudeau told Newsweek. "I won't reinvent myself because I'm now a partner of somebody or people see me in this kind of new position, nonofficial first lady, or whatever. So, I always tried to never believe in a role or a title but stay true to course and remember that's how I need to serve in a way."
For Grégoire Trudeau, that commitment to serving others is one of the reasons she wrote Closer Together, Knowing Ourselves, Loving Each Other (published by Random House Canada). As she promotes the book, she understands the inevitable interest around her separation from Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau last summer, but she is focused on her deeper reasons for writing.
Grégoire Trudeau's Purpose Behind 'Closer Together'
Her work, part memoir and part self-help book, cites vignettes from her own life to illustrate how childhood can shape mental health, relationships and family dynamics. It features commentary from a diverse panel of experts including the renowned sexologist and clinician Esther Perel. The book offers advice on topics such as how to seek life's purpose, while addressing past traumas and embracing mental and emotional health.
"I wrote this book so that people can know themselves better, love themselves better so that we can give us the maximum tools and opportunities to face the crises that we're facing," Grégoire Trudeau told Newsweek on a recent Zoom call.
Early Life and Navigating Relationships
The tome offers insights into her early life, including a struggle with an eating disorder, and reveals details of her courtship with Trudeau; the pair met as children and reconnected when she was in her 20s. She sent him an email that went unanswered before they bumped into one another on the street a year later. When he asked for her phone number, Grégoire Trudeau told him that if he really wanted it, he would find it. The next day, her phone rang, and the rest was history.
Trudeau and Grégoire Trudeau, who married in 2005 and share three children, Xavier, 16, Ella-Grace, 15, and Hadrien, 10, appear to have navigated their split amicably despite the glare of the spotlight. Although the book details what their family life is like, she is discreet about their separation.
Grégoire Trudeau said she never aspired to be the spouse of a world leader, but took on the role, with her young children in tow, several years after she had fallen in love with the man behind the position.
"Because I never perceived my partner as a prime minister, I never perceived my marriage as a political marriage or our relationship for that matter," Grégoire Trudeau said. "We were kind of just in the middle of what it means to be out there and scrutinized by the world."
"Of course, I wish I didn't have to share the state of my relationship with the world," she added. "It is my life, but it is a very small portion of my life. I don't live my life with the cameras on. I'm at home with the kids. We're running around, we're booking appointments. So I don't bring my mind there. But that being said, I now understand that being on a co-political path, and your partner does that, it implies a lot of changes in one's life that you don't expect. And you have to constantly adapt."
Adaptation for Grégoire Trudeau means prioritizing her work/life balance, being present, including movement in her day, breathwork, ensuring she gets enough rest and— contrary to the usual feel-good, love-yourself advice—embracing the things she doesn't like about herself.
"I'm disciplined when it comes to self-care," she said. "And it's not about doing my hair or putting makeup on. Finding balance, looking at my flaws, looking at my pain: how do I navigate it every day? Going to my yoga mat, being in balance with myself and slowing down. Toughest thing we will ever do."
Grégoire Trudeau, who devotes a chapter to family and parenting, said her message for mothers (and working mothers in particular) is the burden of family isn't yours to shoulder alone. Grégoire Trudeau wants to normalize it being OK for mothers to ask for help—whether it is from their partner, their friends, or their community. "No mother should be raising kids alone," Grégoire Trudeau said. "I've interviewed a lot of vulnerable, marginalized single moms. It's not how we're meant to grow as human beings. And it's unacceptable. I would say, always ask for help. Always. Friends, neighbors, the community center. Ask for help and support.
"We need to ask our partners, our friends and our communities for more support," she added. "It's a sign of strength, of openness. It makes the thread that holds us all together tighter, so that nobody falls through the holes."
Promoting Mental Health Awareness
She said it's up to people to be proactive about their mental health by recognizing the pain they have experienced, even as job pressures, relationships and family responsibilities get in the way. That is especially important for women, who, Grégoire Trudeau acknowledged, walk a tightrope as they navigate the rigors of work, the challenges of raising a family, the pressure to achieve success and "having it all."
"We have to alter our goal of constantly wanting to achieve. Achieve what?" Grégoire Trudeau asked. "As mothers, we are the nucleus of the family. We hold the emotional load of every single person in our household."
Untreated mental health issues are the number one cause of absenteeism at work, a disproportionate cause of hospital costs and absences in schools, Grégoire Trudeau said. Almost a fifth of workers in the United States rate their mental health as fair or poor, and poor mental health among employees accounts for nearly $48 billion in lost productivity annually, according to a recent Gallup poll.
"It's proven that when employees are better mentally, the company does much better from an economic standpoint," she said. "So there's no debate here. Because the leader is as affected as every other person working...There's no capital wealth without mental wealth."
Comparisons to Gwyneth Paltrow's Goop wellness empire don't bother Grégoire Trudeau. "You have to take those comparisons with a grain of salt," she said. "I think when you start believing in that stuff, you're already kind of disconnected. Let's just giggle it off. And, by the way, she's a great businesswoman. Good for her!"
Jennifer H. Cunningham is executive editor at Newsweek. Follow her on X at @jhcunningham
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