Woman Refusing to Pay Towards Stepkids' College Funds Sparks Fury

A woman has divided opinions online after she asked the internet if she was at fault for not wanting to support her stepchildren, even though she makes three times more money than her husband does.

In a post shared on Reddit on Monday, the woman, under the username u/aitahusbandskids, wrote that her husband is a mechanic on a 40,000 salary a year, while she makes above 130,000 as a travel nurse.

According to Pearson Emerson family law, generally speaking, in case of divorce, step-parents will usually not be asked to pay maintenance to their stepchild, although there are a few instances when a family court can make orders for a stepparent to pay financial support for a stepchild if it thinks it is appropriate.

The court will take various factors into account, including the length and circumstances of the marriage; the relationship of the step-parent with the parent of the child; the relationship that existed between the step-parent and the child; the arrangements that have existed for the financial support of the child; and any other special circumstances.

The Redditor never wanted children, but her husband has four, so, prior to getting married, they agreed the children would be his sole responsibility and she wouldn't take care of them besides "little stuff."

Moreover, since all four children live at their house, she pays only one-fifth of the bills and one-quarter of the mortgage, with the agreement that, in case of divorce, her husband keeps the entire house.

The arrangements were working fine until she bought herself a new Tesla, and her husband wanted her to get him one too. He then also asked her to set up college funds for his children, even though the children's biological mother makes more money than her and is not contributing to her own children's education costs at all.

The stepmom wrote in her post: "I love him a lot but I think [he's] being a bit entitled. If I was married to a multimillionaire, I wouldn't expect them to buy me a new [McLaren] or something. I work hard to buy myself what I want. And it's not like he ever buys me anything nice."

The post, which was first shared on the r/AmItheA**hole subreddit where users discuss their actions with impartial strangers, has so far received 5,400 upvotes and 2,500 comments.

One user, LostDogBoulderUtah, whose comment received more than 14,700 upvotes, wrote: "So he's below the poverty line, and you're at the upper-class income threshold. You're married and completely comfortable seeing your stepchildren struggle because your income blocks them from federal student aid /FAFSA that they'd more than qualify for if you weren't in the picture.

"Financially, he'd be better off if he divorced you and rented your room out to some random person. That's... Not a marriage. You're [FriendWithBenefits] at best...

"I don't understand why you want a relationship where you have discretionary spending and he can't afford reliable transportation to work. I don't understand why he signed up for that. I don't understand how you intend to live your life completely separate from the 4 children you live with."

Another user ScallionPrudent14 commented: "It's not going to be based on parents' income starting next year anyways so it won't affect their FAFSA and the ex-wife makes more than OP as well so even if it did it'd be because of the kids' mom. It's a little cold on OP's part but they had an agreement and she said she didn't want kids or to take on anyone else's kids' expenses so it's fair."

Sword_Of_Storms wrote: "Dude - just get a divorce and marry someone you don't actively look down on," while ParsimoniousSala commented: "That was your financial agreement. You've only been married for a year, it's awfully fast for him to change his tune. I'd be cautious about this given how relatively new the relationship is.

"If you had been married 10 years, I might wonder why you don't want to contribute to kids you're helping raise. But this seems like financial opportunism on his part."

Another user kill4kandy wrote: "So what does she get out of this relationship other than being a bank, then? She set firm boundaries from the beginning and he agreed. This isn't some surprise that's new and just now showing up. It isn't what you think a marriage should be, but it is/was to them.

"It seems like he's only having regrets now that she has something better than him. If he's not getting some major child support for having 4 kids full-time from his six-figure-making ex-wife, that's his mistake and he needs to go back to court and have that rectified.

"It is not OP's responsibility to pay out what the mom should be. They are living their life exactly how they wanted to...

"Being a stepparent is so HARD, I don't know why anyone does it. And, honestly, she's not a stepparent, she's dad's wife. She has 4 kids living in her home that she can't have any real authority over. So again, she's just a bank if she agreed to the college funds."

Newsweek reached out to u/aitahusbandskids for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.