Bride Expecting Guests to Pay $6,000 for Flights to Wedding Abroad Dragged

Mumsnet users have almost unanimously voted a woman as "reasonable," with 96 percent supporting her for being "annoyed" about her sister's destination wedding and the inevitable price tag.

Original poster destinationisland explained: "My sister is planning a wedding next year in the Pacific Islands. This is a 30- to 40-hour flight away and will cost my family at least £5k ($6,000) in flights alone to get there. We can barely afford this but were happy to go anyway for the experience and the memories."

Tropical wedding
Stock image of a destination wedding. The average guest at a destination wedding abroad will spend $2,623, and the most popular destinations for Americans are Mexico, Hawaii and the Caribbean. gorodenkoff/Getty Images

According to GroupTravel.org, destination weddings make up one out of every four weddings in the U.S. The website reports that the most popular wedding destinations outside of the country are Mexico, Hawaii, or the Caribbean. Wedding Forward planners have calculated that, on average, an international destination wedding will cost each guest $2,623.

The Mumsnet poster writes she has just found out that her family will need to find their own accommodation, "as there is not longer room for us in the main villa." They will be half-a-mile away from the rest of the family, and no cars are allowed on the island.

The poster adds: "It's probably important to mention we have two children under 6."

She also writes that, while planning her own wedding to her Australian husband, they gave up on their dream of getting married in Thailand, so his family could attend, due to complaints by her family. She adds that her sister and her husband have no connection to the Pacific Islands.

Roberta Burcheri, lead planner and designer at Roberta Burcheri Events in London, told Newsweek about how to treat your wedding guests.

"Having a destination wedding is a big ask from your family and friends because unless you, as the couple getting married, are paying for everyone's flights and accommodation to the destination, this is a cost that lands into the laps of your guests," said Burcheri.

"Depending where guests need to fly to and how long they will be there will determine whether their costs just to get there run from the hundreds of pounds or, if a long-haul exotic destination, into the thousands of pounds.

"Try to be mindful of any of your wedding guests who may simply not be able to afford this. Try not to take any feedback you get from guests personally," Burcheri added.

She offered these top tips for handling your destination wedding:

  • Consider a smaller guestlist, so you can afford the ones who really matter most.
  • Ask your guests for their presence, instead of presents.
  • Send your Save the Dates ASAP, six to 12 months before the wedding, so you give your guests enough notice to start saving, and ask them to RSVP so you can get an accurate head-count and plan accordingly.
  • Ask the hotel where you will be staying for a reduced rate if you block-book and look for group airline fares with tour operators.
  • If you can, offer to pay for accommodation and for airport transfers (and save money yourselves by arranging their arrivals and departures at the same time).
  • As the hosts, you are usually responsible for all of the standard events like rehearsal dinner, welcome party, and post-wedding brunch. Or you may offer to pay for any planned group tours or activities.

Mumsnet users supported the OP, with MrsTerryPratchett writing: "Don't go. That's a massive amount of money to spend feeling p***** off, which I would."

User kweeble posted: "I wouldn't go and it's best to say now; your family's budget is a fair reason and also the need to visit your husband's family at some point."

And user1471457751 commented: "Have your parents got history for prioritising your sister? It's odd that they wouldn't go to Thailand for you despite the family reason you had but will go to a Pacific island for your sister just because your sis liked a holiday there."

Newsweek could not verify the details of the case.

Has a wedding come between your relationship with a loved one? Let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.

Uncommon Knowledge

Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.

Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.

About the writer


Leonie Helm is a Newsweek Life Reporter and is based in London, UK. Her focus is reporting on all things ... Read more

To read how Newsweek uses AI as a newsroom tool, Click here.

Newsweek cover
  • Newsweek magazine delivered to your door
  • Newsweek Voices: Diverse audio opinions
  • Enjoy ad-free browsing on Newsweek.com
  • Comment on articles
  • Newsweek app updates on-the-go
Newsweek cover
  • Newsweek Voices: Diverse audio opinions
  • Enjoy ad-free browsing on Newsweek.com
  • Comment on articles
  • Newsweek app updates on-the-go