Woman Raging Over 'Intrusive' Neighbors Checking in on Her Slammed Online

A woman whose neighbors had an estate agent call her late at night to check on her after they hadn't seen her for a few days has been criticized online for accusing the neighbors of being "nosy, intrusive and controlling."

According to a post shared Wednesday by the woman in her 30s (under the username Mooshamoo) on the online forum Mumsnet, she and the two male neighbors—one in his 40s and another in his late 60s, who "may be father and son"—have never spoken to each other before. "I don't really like them as they blast loud music a lot," Mooshamoo wrote.

Last week, she was on vacation in Spain and was surprised to have received two missed calls Tuesday at 10 p.m. local time from the estate agent who sold her the home located in a small town in Ireland.

The estate agent, with whom Mooshamoo had not spoken since he sold her the house, informed her that the neighbors were "very very worried" about her. "They haven't seen you in a few days, and the newspapers are building up outside your door," the estate agent said.

"It turns out that the estate agent is friends with them [the neighbors]...so they rang him and got him to ring me," Mooshamoo said.

A smiling man saying hello to neighbor.
A man cheerfully smiling and waving hello to a neighbor. iStock/Getty Images Plus

She asked: "Aibu [am I being unreasonable] to think that this is totally OTT [over the top] and uncomfortable? I have only been away for five days. It's the summer, everybody is going away on holidays."

Mooshamoo claimed that "from looking at these neighbors," they are "not people [who] would be concerned about me."

She said: "They are the type of people who are nosy, and would just want to know what I am doing...surely I should be able to go away on holidays...and surely the estate agent shouldn't be ringing me late at night."

A March 2022 study published in the Human Arenas journal found that "neighborhood friendship is still relevant despite physical distance."

The study suggested that while "physical interaction is crucial in the formation and maintenance of neighborhood friendship, physical distance and social mobility did not dissolve the relationship..."

Several factors may impact friendships in the neighborhood context, but the study found that "closeness is especially important in determining the dynamics of neighborhood friendship."

Intimacy and disclosure, described as the two crucial components that create closeness, "have the potential to lead the friendship to a positive direction," the study said.

Several users came to the defense of the neighbors in the latest Mumsnet post, claiming the two men were likely "genuinely concerned" about the woman's welfare.

User Mummyratbag said: "Can't really imagine they are doing it from anything but a good place even if it feels intrusive."

In a reply to Mummyratbag, Mooshamoo said: "To me, it is nosy, intrusive and controlling. I know they are just doing it out of nosiness..."

ApolloandDaphne commented: "They may be a bit nosy but at least they have your welfare at heart. Surely they wouldn't have gone to all that bother just to find out where you were?"

PeppaPigIsAnnoying chimed in: "Jesus, they were only concerned about your welfare."

TheNoodlesIncident said: "I think you feel these people are nosy, which they might well be. But that doesn't mean they don't have a shred of human decency and don't care about your welfare, does it? You're just automatically assuming the worst about people, which is on you rather than them."

User waveyourpompoms wrote: "YABU [you are being unreasonable]. You don't know they are doing it out of nosiness. You don't know anything because you don't speak to them."

Others were more diplomatic and understanding of Mooshamoo's feelings about the neighbors' actions.

Tothemoonandbackx noted: "So maybe they were doing it because they were concerned, you don't know that, that being said, 5 days does seem odd to think someone is in trouble, 5 weeks maybe, but not five days. Weird the estate agent would phone and not just alert the police..."

IsadoraQuagmire: "They might well be nosy, but in this case I expect they were genuinely concerned. I can understand your feeling spied on though."

DDivaStar agreed that the neighbors' reaction was "ott...however nosy, intrusive and controlling also seems a bit ott, it does sound like they were genuinely worried..."

Uncommon Knowledge

Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.

Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.

About the writer


Soo Kim is a Newsweek reporter based in London, U.K. She covers various lifestyle stories, specializing in travel and health. 

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