Woman's Choice Of Dress At Wedding Backed Despite Bride Calling It 'Trashy'

A woman who was slammed by a bride for turning up to her wedding in a "trashy" dress has won the backing of the internet.

Though the general public appears happy to do away with many wedding traditions, one that has stood firm down the years is that the bride, and the bride only, wears white. In a 2021 YouGov America poll of 700 U.S. adults, just 24 percent of respondents were in favor of dropping the tradition, while a resounding 50 percent backed it to continue as it is.

It's an unwritten rule that no one else attending the nuptials should also be wearing white, although that hasn't stopped the occasional guest from sparking anger by doing exactly that. However, the wedding guest posting to Reddit under the handle u/Vivid_Promise8476 was guilty of something slightly different according to the bride.

According to Redditor, she is a close friend of the groom, Dan, but has never gotten on with his new wife, Lauren. "Me and Dan have been best friends since high school and despite always being platonic with no romantic interests on either side, his now wife Lauren has always disliked me," she wrote.

Despite the Redditor being "happily married," Lauren has always been "suspicious" of why u/Vivid_Promise8476 would want to hang out with her fiancé. Things got off to a bad start during the planning stage of the wedding.

"Originally I was going to be in the groom's party but Lauren ended up crying saying a wedding is not a place to swap gender roles," the woman wrote. "Dan was fighting her on this but I told him I'll just attend as a guest, and not to choose this hill to die on."

Fast-forward to the wedding and with a dress code that was "warm tone garden party" the woman decided to wear a "bronze/orange dress" she felt fit "perfectly" with the style of the event. But while the ceremony went off without a hitch, a furious Lauren confronted OP during the reception.

According to the post, the bride told her: ""I cannot believe you would wear gold to my wedding, you're not the first prize you're just f**king trashy." The woman was left "shocked" at Lauren's comments and the situation was compounded further when the bride "screamed" at her to leave soon after.

In the days since, Dan has reached out to tell her he was "upset" she left so soon while the mother of the bride claimed she "ruined the wedding" and was "stupid for wearing a gold dress" as it was "as bad as wearing white." The response has left her questioning her choice but many online wondered whether the bride was the one out of line.

Diane Gottsman, an etiquette expert and founder of The Protocol School of Texas, sees both sides. She told Newsweek: "Weddings are festive, and if the wedding was black tie, or even cocktail, a tasteful, golden color hue may be appropriate. Factors to consider are the personality of the bride and groom, the venue, the extravagance of the wedding, and the dress attire noted on the invitation."

Gottsman wondered whether the personal animosity between the two meant the guest was doomed to failure whatever she wore. "She could have worn a sack, and there would've still potentially been an issue," she said. "Underdressed, overdressed...the fact that she was even a guest at all may be more of the issue than the gold dress."

Reddit Backs The Wedding Guest

Ultimately, though, she could also see why the bride might not have been happy. "Good taste and judgment prevails, and if the dress clearly upstages the bride, based on a multitude of factors, it's best to choose to be tasteful rather than a showstopper," Gottsman said. "At the end of the day... it is all about the bride."

Though Gottsman could see both sides, those responding on Reddit sided firmly with the guest. "I don't think it would have mattered what color your dress was," one said, echoing Gottsman's earlier comment. "The (now) wife hates you and was gonna find something to yell at you for whatever you wore. If it wasn't the dress color, it would have been something else."

A second commented: "That dress is NOWHERE close to gold, and even if it was gold it DOES NOT MATTER. The only etiquette is not to wear white or ivory. It's not "a thing" by any stretch of the imagination. You were not in the wrong."

A third, meanwhile, added: "Their marriage won't last with such insecurities like that not being addressed. You've done absolutely nothing wrong. Unfortunately it seems everyone enables the really unhinged people in society."

Newsweek has reached out to u/Vivid_Promise8476 but was unable to verify the details of the case.

Has a wedding come between your relationship with a loved one? Let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.

A woman out at a wedding.
File photo of a woman dressed for a wedding. One guest's choice of attire left the bride livid. Stivog/Getty

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Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.

About the writer


Jack Beresford is a Newsweek Senior Internet Culture & Trends Reporter, based in London, UK. His focus is reporting on ... Read more

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