The internet has backed a single dad who called his sister "stupid and toxic" after she told him she feels bad for him for having a daughter, and that raising boys is much better.
In a post shared on Reddit earlier in March, under the username u/lavender_sky_11, the 33-year-old father of a teenage girl explained that his sister has made being a mom of three boys her entire personality, and for some reason she has always gone on about how raising boys is much easier than raising girls and how lucky she is.
Preferring sons over daughters is not uncommon among U.S. parents. In fact, a study by analytics service provider Gallup shows that, since 1941, preference for boys over girls has been higher by an 11-percentage point margin on average. The gap—always a preference for boys over girls— was 15 points in 1947 and 4 points in 1990. In 2018, the gap was at 8 points.
According to the study, men are strong in their preference for a male child, with 43 percent of men preferring a boy compared to 24 percent favoring a girl, and women have divided preferences with 31 percent wanting a girl and 30 percent a boy.
Recently the poster took his 15-year-old daughter to see her idol, Taylor Swift, during her "Eras Tour," and the day after, while visiting his parents' house she couldn't stop talking about it. His sister, who also happened to be at their parents', ended up laughing and going on her usual rant about how glad she was she doesn't have a girl, going as far as to say she was sorry for him for having one.
He wrote: "My daughter didn't want to talk anymore and was clearly upset by my sister's words. That was very upsetting to me. I told my sister she was so wrong to say those things, especially in front of my daughter. And that she's toxic and honestly stupid for thinking raising boys is easier than raising girls. I told her she needs to find a new personality outside of being a boy mom.
"She ended up leaving while calling me the biggest [A******]. My mom also accused me of being rude and basically an [A******] because my sister just loves her boys and I shouldn't judge her for thinking girls would be more difficult to raise. So [Am I The A******]?
Marni Goldman, certified life coach, and author of True to Myself, told Newsweek: "Appropriately themed, 'Haters Gonna Hate Hate Hate!' It's sad, but true. Especially when it is our own family.
"Remember, it has nothing to do with you, it's all them. I applaud you for calling your sister out on her toxicity. It must have been a long time coming! Being called out caused her tears. Her behavior is a possible trigger for you, and your pressure cooker-popped! It's unbelievable the amount of jealousy she has, it just oozes out of her (another part of her self-loathing) Of course your daughter would be raving about the concert, she's a Swifty!! I'm sorry somebody rained her parade.
"You can't fix your sister, or her emotionally draining nasty personality. In a perfect world, It would be great if she were to take accountability, and acknowledge 'It's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me!' [...] Some people are just energy suckers, taking all the life out of any joy we have. Stay true to yourself, and stay away! Life is too short to do anything, or be around anyone that doesn't fill you with love, laughter, and happiness!"
The post originally shared on the r/AmITheA****** subreddit, where users discuss their actions with online strangers, quickly went viral, receiving over 10,300 upvotes and 1,600 comments.
One user, bordennium, commented: [Not The A******]. It sounds like your sister is projecting. If she had 3 kids on purpose, she 100% wanted a girl and just never got one. So, now that she's done having kids, she's using her anti-girl rhetoric and boymom perspective as a coping strategy. That's just a guess, though. Either way, it's super weird of her to hyperfixate on the gender of her children that much, and just plain rude to impose that on your daughter. Good for you for standing up for her."
And Independent-Fig-4595 said: "Or she's just a filthy misogynist. Lots of people actually think the way this sister does. OP [Original poster] absolutely [Not The A******]. And it was super important for you to say that in front of your daughter. That kind of talk is damaging to young girls."
Idontcare8587 wrote: "[Not The A******]. Why does your sister hate women/girls so much? Also, one of my favorite and best memories of my dad is him taking me to go see NSync. You f****** rock, and she'll remember that concert forever."
And Holiday_Cat_7284 added: "I don't think she does hate girls. I think she probably wanted a girl. She's using a coping strategy."
Newsweek reached out to u/lavender_sky_11 for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.
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Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.
Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.
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Maria Azzurra Volpe is a Newsweek Lifestyle Reporter based in London. Her focus is reporting on lifestyle and trends-related stories, ... Read more
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