Woman Backed For Refusing To Loan Brother's Bride Designer Bag For Wedding

Sharing may be caring, but one woman has decided to push back on what was expected of her by her family and instead turn to the internet for moral support.

A 24-year-old woman, under the username u/DaydreamDIVA, took to Reddit in February, igniting a conversation about her refusal to loan one of her prized possessions—a designer handbag—to her future sister-in-law ahead of the wedding.

While her bold decision led to a significant family disagreement, the woman has garnered plenty of support online.

The Chanel purse her sister-in-law had set their sights on was a gift from u/DaydreamDIVA's parents upon graduating college. She detailed its great sentimental and financial value in the original post.

"It's by far the most expensive thing I own," the woman wrote.

"My brother recently got [engaged], and his new wife Amy asked if she could borrow my Chanel purse for their wedding day photos and reception. Amy doesn't own any designer bags and really wanted one to complete her wedding look."

"I politely declined to lend her my purse. That purse is extremely valuable to me, and the thought of something happening to it makes me anxious," she continued.

The conflict began after the woman made her feelings on Amy wearing the bag clear. Despite the sentimental value of the purse, Amy labeled OP as "selfish and materialistic" for her reluctance to lend it.

The Redditor recounted their exchange: "Amy called me selfish and materialistic for not lending it to her for the wedding. She said I was more concerned about a status symbol than helping family."

This situation has not only strained the 24-year-old's relationship with her future, sister-in-law but also with other family members.

"My parents and brother also got upset with me, saying I should be willing to share my things with family. But I don't think I should have to hand over my most prized possession just because it's for a wedding. Now the whole family is angry with me," she wrote.

The woman's post has garnered over 5,600 upvotes and more than 2,000 comments since it had been shared online, sparking widespread online discussion about her decision to say no.

The online community has largely sided with the woman, praising her for maintaining her boundaries and criticizing the behavior of the bride-to-be.

One user commented: "I find it funny that she called you materialistic for not lending her the purse. Yet she needed the purse to complete her outfit. And the only reason she wanted your purse was because it was expensive and designer. So in other words, she's mad that you wouldn't let her be materialistic with your items."

"It's your stuff you choose who you lent to or not wanted to. And everyone is wrong. And if your parents are so upset, tell them to buy her one," another user wrote, echoing the sentiment of the first.

To gain further insight into the emotional dynamics at play, Newsweek consulted Kristin Papa, a licensed therapist at Living Openhearted Therapy and Wellness in California, for her take on the dilemma.

"Weddings conjure up a lot of feelings and expectations about what one should or shouldn't do in regard to supporting the bride," Papa told Newsweek.

"In this situation both options would have resulted in either the author or the bride feeling uncomfortable with the decision. As a result, there is no option in which everyone would have felt at ease."

She continued: "The woman would need to consider which decision she would feel more comfortable with in the long run. By evaluating if maintaining her boundaries while perhaps upsetting her family or feeling anxious and uneasy about lending her purse, she could make a decision based upon which outcome she preferred to navigate."

Although weddings tend to conjure up intense emotions, it appears that the Redditor's choice on who will be wearing her Chanel handbag is unwavering.

Newsweek reached out to u/DaydreamDIVA for more information via Reddit.

Has a wedding come between your relationship with a loved one? Let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.