Woman Backed for Refusing to Add Boyfriend's Child to Health Insurance

A Reddit user is being backed after she refused to add her boyfriend's child to her employer-sponsored health insurance, and an expert told Newsweek the situation reveals a bigger problem at hand.

The health insurance kerfuffle brought to the fore a conversation about health insurance and the gaps some Americans may face when it comes to coverage, particularly coverage for children.

The average cost of health insurance in the United States is around $500 per month, according to moneygeek, but 4.2 percent of American children (or around 3 million) don't have insurance, according to 2020 Census data.

The Reddit user, who has been with her partner for four years, is standing her ground when it comes to adding her partner's 12-year-old son to their domestic partnership health insurance plan. Her plan, she explained in a post in the popular Am I The A**hole Subreddit, is more affordable, and her boyfriend is currently on her employer-sponsored plan.

Her partner's ex-wife, she said, has "caused us a lot of problems." She is, for example, not able to speak with the 12-year-old or be involved in his life.

"The divorce decree states that if the mother carries health insurance, then she is owed the full amount of child support, but if the dad carries, then child support is reduced," the Redditor wrote. "When the agreement was done, she agreed to carry him."

The problem with adding her boyfriend's son stems from the expense and the fact that the child's mother refuses to reduce the child support, which would require the couple to take her to court.

"My boyfriend supports me and stated that if she wants us to do it, she has to take us to court and get a new decree that will reduce the child support, since it will be an easy $425.00 out of my check each pay period to add him," she wrote. "She refuses to do so; she says she promises she will return a portion of the money she gets in child support to us. I don't trust her."

'Wants to have her cake'

Most Reddit commenters were supportive of her decision.

"She wants to have her cake and eat it with 2 forks," wrote Reddit user Talmaska.

"You are not married," added user SensibleFriend. "The child is not your responsibility. Why would you pay $425 each pay period so your boyfriend can pay less child support?"

One Reddit commenter called the entire post "very embarrassing to read."

"The fact that you have a grown man getting health insurance through YOUR job makes you a pick me," said Reddit user LowerSquash6084. "Why can't he get insurance for his son on his own? He is playing you for a dummy and you're letting him."

Another Reddit user nooneyouknow_youknow also called out the messy relationship dynamics.

"Why hasn't he cowboyed up and asked OP to marry him yet?" they wrote. "4 years AND she had the patience to tolerate his crazy ex and rude child? Frankly, she deserves better but since she's sticking around, he should put a ring on it."

Situation highlights bigger problem

The child at the center of the Reddit scenario calls into question a bigger problem, Chicago-based insurance attorney Mark DeBofsky told Newsweek.

"We have a system in this country employer-sponsored health insurance where there's a possibility created of a gap or somebody who needs coverage is not afforded that coverage," DeBofsky said. "It's not automatic. You have to specifically apply for coverage for that child."

DeBofsky said he has run into circumstances in which children were left uninsured when a parent didn't check off the proper box when signing up for coverage.

"It's a nightmare to fix," he said. "I had one case in which an employer refused to fix the problem and ended up firing the worker because they said she was insubordinate for complaining about it."