Woman Furious With Little Sister for Applying to Same University Backed

A younger sibling has been slammed online for tracking down her older sister at college and going to the same one, despite having zero contact with her for years.

Redditors have blasted user u/throwraEconon669 after she revealed what led her to track down her estranged sister at college in a post shared on April 13.

While siblings might not always get along harmoniously, complete estrangement is quite rare. Karl Pillemer, a gerontology professor at Cornell University, surveyed 1,300 people about their family dynamics and found that 10 percent reported estrangement from parents or a child, while eight percent were estranged from a sibling.

The original poster (OP) in this case wrote that she and her sister—who is two years older—used to be close, but a childhood marred by sickness created friction between them. From the age of five to 15 years old, the OP suffered with illness that stopped her doing "normal things" that other children got to do, including the sister.

Shortly afterwards, the family began to prohibit the older sister from going out and living her life, asking her to stay with her younger sibling instead.

"I was ok with her doing kid stuff. But at one point I got bitter and kind of guilt-tripped my parents and her to let her stay with me, but I did that up until I was 12; after I noticed that it was leading to a strain in our relationship and her hating me," the younger sister wrote.

"I tried to get back on her good side because she was no longer enthusiastic to stay with me like before, when we would play games and she would sing and do things with me."

The parents allowed the sister to go out again when she reached junior year, but the poster believes "the damage was already done."

"When she went to college, she cut off our parents and me. She changed her number and everything," the post continued.

However, the younger sister refused to accept this and applied to go to the same university and sent emails asking to meet up. As the older sister ignored all attempts to reach out, the younger sister showed up at her student organization instead, hoping to force a reunion.

"She chewed me out for picking this university (she referred to it as her safe place). I am now feeling like I may have gone about this the wrong way, but at the same time, I just wanted us to be close again."

Licensed marriage and family therapist Lana Banegas has helped many estranged families as part of her work with The Marriage Point. Banegas explained that siblings who become distant are often dealing with pain from their past, but showing up out of the blue isn't going to fix the problem.

"As a licensed therapist working with families and siblings that are at odds with each other, I find that often the war or pain between the siblings is in reaction to the unexpressed pain towards one, or both, of the parents, and the sibling is an easier target," she told Newsweek.

"There are absolutely better ways to begin rebuilding the relationship, rather than just showing up at your older sibling's university in total surprise.

"One way to begin reconnecting is to send an email, a text, or even a social media message stating your intentions, and being willing to listen and take accountability."

It may be difficult to forgive a sibling in a situation such as this, but Banegas offers a reminder of how close a healthy sibling bond can be—it's unlike any other relationship.

Since the Reddit post was shared, it has generated over 9,800 votes and more than 2,700 comments, most of which express disbelief at the younger sister's actions.

One person wrote: "She went no contact so instead of respecting her decision, you stalk her, apply and go to the same college, and expect her to be happy?"

Another person commented: "OP, you are being selfish in the extreme. You want to be close with her after almost a decade of forcing her to do what you want, and years beyond that of your parents forcing her. She clearly did not have a good childhood because of your illness and because of the way you and your parents dealt with it."

Newsweek reached out to u/throwraEconon669 for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.

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