I have been working with LGBTQ+ organizations for over 20 years, and I have yet to meet someone who enjoys the ever-changing alphabet soup acronym that has come to represent our community. When I started my career, it was GLBT. Shortly after, it became LGBT, only to transform into LGBTQ, which quickly evolved to LGBTQIA. Now it's back to LGBTQ+, but most of my colleagues and I skip the letters entirely. Instead, we use the word "queer" as an umbrella term that includes an infinite number of sexual and gender identities. Then again, there are some who are legitimately offended at being called queer, because they remember when it was a cruel insult.
The truth is there is no real consensus about what we call ourselves. If that doesn't confuse you enough, check out the recent changes to the rainbow flag! But make no mistake about it: The dynamic state of this jumble of letters is constantly in flux because we are trying to make every member of our growing community feel seen and represented. The question is never who does not belong.
Queer identity is so rooted in inclusion that the very process of excluding people is essentially not queer. Which is why it makes little sense when people talk about divorcing trans people from the larger LGBTQ umbrella.
Transgender people have always been a part of the greater LGBTQ+ community and have played an integral role in queer history, queer art, and queer liberation. They share both fate and destiny with the full diversity of queer identities. The mere suggestion that trans people be separated from their LGBQ siblings conveys a gross misunderstanding of why we are a named community in the first place.
It's true that gender identity and sexual orientation are different, yet there is undeniably a common denominator: the experience of not fitting into the sociological assumptions and pressures most associated with one's assigned gender.
The vast majority of people assigned male at birth develop masculine traits, become sexually attracted to females, and identify as men. Similarly, the majority of those assigned females will have feminine traits, be sexually attracted to males, and identify as women. These majority experiences are reflected in nearly every aspect of society, and create a standard of what is normal, expected and healthy. Queer folk represent the significant minority of people who do not fit into these narratives, whether it's because they are homosexual, bisexual, asexual, trans, nonbinary, or intersex.
What connects an infinite number of queer identities under the larger LGBTQ+ moniker is the experience of developing outside the systemic expectations of society, which gives us a common developmental experience that resonates with other queer people.
Put another way, a gay man's desire for other men is not what is conveyed by his gay identity, nor is it what makes him part of the LGBTQ+ community. He is queer because having those desires means that he likely did not feel that he fit into the assumptions and expectations that his society had about males. He grew up in a world where males on the radio, on TV, in the Bible, and at school are assumed to be attracted to females. He felt the pressure of these assumptions and had to come out as gay to correct these assumptions and engage with the world in a different way.
This is what being gay actually means: It is not a divulging of desire but an expression of an experience that influences who you are. Unfortunately, the world has and continues to punish people who do not fit into the majority experience associated with their assigned gender. While the specific nature of this punishment changes depending on how one is different, the shared oppression creates a collective experience that ties all who face this challenge. It's called queer identity.
Trans people are queer for that very same reason. Their developmental experience is different from the expectations that society has about the gender they were assigned at birth. The same is true for asexual people, bisexual people, non binary people, intersex people, and any other gender or sexual minority. This is the bond that all queer people share and what makes each of these identities part of the LGBTQ+ community.
The rainbow flag is like a crest for this otherwise diverse and disparate family. It signifies that we are here, that we are worthy of a collective self esteem known as pride, and that we deserve the same freedoms as everyone else.
Being queer doesn't require that you decide on a label or category for yourself. The opposite: Queerness thrives on uncertainty and possibility. A queer space is a respite from society's pressure to fit into boxes.
Our communal message is that if you feel like you belong, it's because you do.
Rather than diluting the LGBTQ+ character of our community, this kind of radical inclusion is a hallmark of its queerness, a queerness that will always include trans people.
Mordechai Levovitz is the founder and clinical director of JQY (Jewish Queer Youth), an organization that supports and empowers LGBTQ+ youth and teens from Orthodox, Hasidic and Sephardi-Mizrachi homes. If you need support, visit the JQY website (http://jqy.org/) or call/text the JQY warmline at (551) JQY-HOPE (551) 579-4673.
The views expressed in this article are the writer's own.
Uncommon Knowledge
Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.
Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.
