Dad Blasted for Grounding His Teen After She Scolded New Wife

A husband and father recounted a frustrating situation on Reddit and opened up a debate in the comments about attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and teenage privacy.

In the post, which has nearly 17 thousand likes, the user described himself as a 38-year-old male with a 16-year-old daughter. The man said he married his new wife, Suze, 35, last year after being together for five years, and his daughter and new wife have frequent clashes.

The man said his daughter Anna, "... is a good kid, responsible, kind and helps around, but she's overall an introvert who doesn't like to be around people that much and enjoys her time alone in her room while Suze is the opposite, she loves socializing, doing stuff with the people she loves, etc. She always invites Anna to help her cook/bake, do some gardening etc since they're both at home most of the time but Anna always says no. Suze has ADHD."

He described how his teenage daughter regularly gets frustrated with her stepmother due to her constant insistence that they spend time together, knocking on her bedroom door and constantly talking to her when she is around the house, which he said made Suze "sad."

They are in therapy as a family and he added his daughter also sees a therapist individually, and the father has spoken to his wife about the importance of his daughter's privacy, but he also believes its not "a good thing that Anna refuses any kind of contact with Suze and I don't thinks she's even trying at all."

He then described a recent incident where he arrived home to find his daughter shouting at his wife after she had apparently entered her room again without permission, "like she always does."

"Suze was apologizing and saying that ''she forgot the rule'," he explained, "but Anna said she's tired and that 'dealing with Suze is worse than dealing with a small kid', this made Suze cry and I said that it wasn't nice of her and I grounded her with a week with no phone. She's not talking to me right now, and I wonder if it was wrong because she has never given me the cold shoulder."

ADHD

The U.K. National Health Service defines ADHD as a neurobehavioral condition, "that affects people's behavior. People with ADHD can seem restless, may have trouble concentrating and may act on impulse."

Experts believe that the symptoms of ADHD could be due to underactivity in the frontal cortex, which is the part of the brain that deals with attention, self-control and executive functioning.

According to UK clinic The ADHD Centre, studies show that adult ADHD is more likely to go undiagnosed in women compared to men meaning women are likely to go in to adulthood with unchecked feelings of dysphoria, depression and anxiety. They suggest that some of the issues that ADHD could be causing in adult women include:

• Quickly becoming too emotional and small things pushing them over the top
• Easily forgetting important appointments and events
• Finding it hard to settle and relax

These symptoms, combined with the well documented difficulties of being a teenager, including the need for privacy and space suggest the father in this situation is balancing a difficult range of emotions within his home.

"Not An Excuse"

Many users in the comments sympathized with the step-mother, but thought the daughter was the real victim in this scenario. One user's 'to the point' comment attracted over 50 thousand likes;

"Okay, let me get this straight... You grounded your daughter... For being upset that your wife barged in on her while she was changing and instead of immediately going "oops sorry" she tried to strike up a conversation with your daughter while half naked?

"Instead of getting onto your wife for not respecting your daughter's boundaries? Btw this isn't an ADHD problem, ADHD is not an excuse to be barging in to people's private spaces without invitation. This is a Your Wife Choosing Not to Respect Boundaries problem."

Another user was equally surprised at the attention their own experience attracted, "Totally agree. I'm an introvert with mild misophonia and my partner has ADHD and likes noisy things.

He respects my boundaries and gets it when I tell him I'm peopled out and need space. It's great - he respects my space and I try to respect the way his brain works. We succeed most of the time. I feel sorry for Anna. I felt exhausted just reading this.

I can't imagine the utter hell it would be having to deal with somebody like Suze. I don't exaggerate when I say that I'd probably be in tears from frustration. I'd probably try to take an hours long bath just so I could be guaranteed (hopefully) some privacy."