In my journey as an entrepreneur, one of the best sources of leadership development I've experienced is parenthood. If there's one thing being a parent and being a business leader have in common, it's that there's a lot to be learned. Often these lessons are not things you can simply read about — it can take trial and error and a good dose of humility for them to sink in.
Of course, you don't want to approach leading your team members the same way you parent your kids. Rather, by parenting and leading your children, you can grow as a business leader through the skills that you gain and practice at home.
So what are some of the lessons that parenthood can teach us about business leadership?
1. Give Up Control
We entrepreneurs tend to be plagued by the need to control our businesses. They're our babies, after all — what we pour our blood, sweat, and souls into — and handing aspects of the business over to someone else can feel incredibly vulnerable.
As a parent, I've learned that there's only so much control you can really have over your kids. They need to make their own decisions — and mistakes — and learn from them. You can try to control your kids, but at some point you'll have to let go as they grow into adults. Teaching them and providing foundational understanding helps them grow into mature adults. They won't be able to flourish if they live their entire lives under your thumb.
Similarly, as a business grows, the entrepreneur must eventually relinquish control of more aspects of the business. It's not possible to control everything, and by giving your team the ability to do what they're best at — and the responsibility to make and fix their own mistakes — you allow the business to grow beyond what you could ever manage on your own.
2. Become More Flexible
Kids come with unforeseen risks. You never know when someone might get hurt or sick and throw a wrench in your plans. Parenthood is a constant exercise in flexibility and adjusting to setbacks. The business world can be much the same way.
The business world is always changing, so we need to stay adaptable. As soon as you adjust to one challenge, it can be easy to get comfortable and forget that there are more challenges coming. It's important to keep a positive attitude throughout these setbacks and remember that they're just a part of running a business. If you let them get you discouraged, your team will feel discouraged too.
3. Admit Your Mistakes
Something that kids can teach us all is the power of the phrase, "I messed up. I'm sorry." We all make mistakes, and it can be tempting to hide those mistakes, especially from people you want to look up to you. But since we teach our kids to admit when they've made a mistake and apologize if they hurt someone, it's important that we do the same when we make a mistake that hurts them.
Fessing up is just as important to do as a business leader. By admitting when you make a mistake, you encourage your team members to do the same when they mess up. Just like you'd rather your kid tell you when they cut their bangs off instead of trying to hide it under a hat, you'd rather your employees tell you when they made an error in their calculations than try to sweep it under the rug. Acknowledging your mistakes creates an environment of honesty in your business. We practice a 'no blame' work environment to foster this culture of honesty.
4. Become More Understanding and Empathetic
Emotional intelligence is one of the most important skills for effective leadership, and there's nothing like being a parent to help you better understand people's emotions and motivations. Parenting takes a lot of difficult emotional work and can help you develop your empathy, which is a valuable skill for a business leader.
I wasn't a parent when I started my entrepreneurial journey, but since I've had kids, I've found it easier to connect with my team members on an emotional level. Many of them are parents, too, and it's often a great reminder of the importance of creating a great balance between work and family life not just for myself but also for my team.
5. Model the Behavior You Want To See
Perhaps the most valuable lesson parenthood can teach business leaders is the importance of setting an example. Children mimic our behavior, and telling them to do something won't do much good unless you also model that behavior. For example, if you tell children to say thank you but you never say it yourself, they won't learn when it's appropriate to use that phrase in conversation.
While your team members are not learning from you as directly as your children are, the behavior you model for them still sends a message and sets a standard. If you behave in ways you wouldn't want your team members to behave, you're telling them that behavior is okay. If you have a negative attitude, you're encouraging a negative attitude among your team. On the flip side, positive attitudes and behaviors are also contagious and can inspire your team to act in ways that will benefit their well-being and the well-being of the business.
Stay open to the lessons you can learn from both your kids and your team. Everyone, even a small child, can teach you something. And remember to balance what's important in your life. Your business is there to support your family, not the other way around. I've even added to my calendar time set aside to spend with my kids and I strive to stay curious about what they can teach me and then apply those lessons to my role as a business leader. So what about you: what lessons have you learned from parenting that has made you a better business leader?
Uncommon Knowledge
Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.
Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.
