Praise as Woman Tells Truth About Why She Skipped Her Own Graduation Party

A college graduate has been applauded for skipping the surprise party planned by her dad and then telling her relatives exactly why she'd rather skip the festivities.

In 2019, the Pew Research Center estimated that around 1 in 6 kids in the United States lived as part of a blended family that included a stepsibling, half-sibling or stepparent. Though there are countless examples of parents and kids thriving within these new family dynamics, blended families are not without their difficulties, includinginstances where a child can be left feeling justifiably usurped by the arrival of a new partner and step or half-sibling.

One prime example of this was shared on Reddit by u/Economic-Guarantee244.

"My family has not celebrated anything to do with me since I was 12 years old," she wrote in a post on the Am I The A****** (AITA) subreddit. "My dad and his new wife had a baby that year and I was kind of forgotten about. I would get birthday presents and such but no party or anything."

A woman, dad and surprise party.
These stock images show an annoyed young woman ignoring her dad (L) and revelers celebrating at a party (R). A college graduate has been applauded for skipping the surprise graduation party her dad organized for... Hemera Technologies/Justin Case/Getty

The Redditor said it became "tradition" for her to celebrate birthdays with friends, with one of her friends' moms even baking a cake for her every year since she knew she wouldn't have one at home. To celebrate her high school graduation, the Redditor saved up money and took a trip to New York City with her best friend and her mother.

So, it was something of a shock when she learned her dad was planning a "surprise" party to mark her college graduation. Rather than attend, she went out with her friends, sparking anger among family members who traveled to attend the celebration and didn't understand why she was a no-show.

When they asked why she didn't come to the party after he had "gone to all the effort" of planning it, the Redditor did not hold back, telling them that her dad "hadn't celebrated anything of mine in 10 years."

Though her father insisted she was "lying," she asked him to "post any pictures he had from my birthday parties, extracurricular activities, or high school graduation." When he failed to do so, their family immediately turned on him, leaving him furious at her for "talking about private family matters."

Rebecca Lewis, a Licensed Mental Health Counselor with Thriveworks, who specializes in teen trauma and family conflict, told Newsweek: "Family issues are always complicated to deal with, and people try to do what they feel is right for them. Communicating with your family is important.

"There is no way that this daughter could have known that her father was planning this big event if it had been over 10 years since he had celebrated anything with her," she said. "He could have come to her and said, 'I know I haven't been a big part of your life recently, but I'd like to do something special for you to help start making up for that' and I'm sure that she would have been more open to the idea."

Lewis felt there was a lack of communication from both sides though, adding that the woman "could have also been upfront with her dad about how she had felt about his behavior over the years and how hurt she has been by this more privately."

Ultimately, she felt the best option was for the woman to find a resolution "that feels right for her."

Others on social media were less forgiving of the dad's approach and his angry response to his child airing their grievances with other members of the family.

"People always call them private family matters when they know their behavior is indefensible," one Redditor wrote, with another commenting: "The party was to show off to DAD'S friends."

"The fact that he didn't even know her plans to go out of town speaks volumes," a Redditor wrote, with another theorizing: "Dad more than likely threw a party to pat himself on the back and gain accolades for producing a kid who graduated university and got a good job right out the gate."

Newsweek reached out to u/Economic-Guarantee244 via Reddit for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.

If you have a family dilemma, let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.

Uncommon Knowledge

Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.

Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.

About the writer


Jack Beresford is a Newsweek Senior Internet Culture & Trends Reporter, based in London, UK. His focus is reporting on ... Read more

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