Pregnant Woman 'Doing Nothing' in the Kitchen When In-Laws Visit Applauded

Reddit users have backed a pregnant woman who feels forced to leave the kitchen every time her husband's family enter, as she's had enough of their criticisms.

The viral post was shared by user u/Top-Trainer-7063 on June 26. She wrote that she and her husband of six years come from different backgrounds, but she's "made an effort to learn how to cook meals" from his native country.

"He never complains and has praised my cooking often," she added on Reddit. "We have cooked meals together for dinner parties and no complaints." Unfortunately for the poster, who is pregnant with their first child, her husband's mom and sister have been staying until the birth and to offer help around the home. While the poster's husband might love her cooking, his relatives appear to be less enthusiastic about it.

"So, the problem is that whenever I'm cooking, all three of them have started coming in and changing stuff around," the woman wrote. "It doesn't matter if I'm making something from their country or not. They have started coming in and saying stuff like, 'oh that heat is too high/low for this meal' and they will change it. Or adding ingredients, things like that."

In over three decades as a psychologist, Dr. Craig Kain has offered counseling and psychotherapy to people in a range of difficult situations. While this Reddit user's experience is undoubtedly hard to face, Kain told Newsweek that the problem could go much deeper than a simple cooking recipe.

Kain said: "For people who are far away from the place they grew up, food is a powerful reminder of where they came from and can often be a source of comfort. As human beings, our brains are wired to make powerful connections between food and our emotions.

"I would recommend the woman worry less about the ingredients in the recipe and take the time to better understand what the recipe means to her husband, and his family," Kain added. "These recipes can provide a wonderful jumping-off point for deeper insight into her husband's background, as well as what life was like in his country."

Once "there is a shared understanding and connection," Kain said that comments about ingredients or changing the recipe can be made.

"At that point, how the recipe is made becomes far less important to all parties than why the recipe is being made, and what preparing the recipe means," he added.

While the Reddit poster has to deal with the comments from her in-laws, unfortunately it's not a two-way street. She wrote that if she offers any thoughts on their cooking, "they get all offended."

"My husband said to leave them alone because they know what they are doing. But he won't give me the same courtesy," she added. "So, I've started walking away from the kitchen as soon as they change anything."

It might be a solution for the Reddit user to "simply walk out," but the family aren't best pleased with it as they're left doing all the cooking while she sits there "doing nothing." The husband has also accused her of "being petty and vindictive" because of the way she's acting.

In a poll conducted by YouGov in 2022, 1,000 U.S. adults were asked about whether they criticize themselves, and how often they feel criticized by other people. While 53 percent of Americans say they criticize themselves more than others do, there were 12 percent of respondents who said they face more criticism from others. Results of the poll highlighted the many internal and external pressures that people face, and the toll that any perceived criticism can have on an individual.

After the Reddit post was shared, it quickly generated plenty of attention online and has amassed more than 15,000 votes so far. Many people have sided with the Reddit poster and chose to share their support in the comments.

One comment reads: "Early in our marriage, my husband liked to help me 'fix' meals when it was my turn to cook dinner. I finally just told him he could do all of the cooking, since he wanted it done his way."

Newsweek reached out to u/Top-Trainer-7063 via Reddit for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.

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