Woman Calling Friend 'Rude' for Comments to Waitress in Coffee Shop Slammed

A woman has been slammed for calling her friend "rude" for sending her "bitter" hot chocolate back to the barista in a coffee shop.

In a popular post on the U.K.-based discussion site Mumsnet, user @cestelee, tells other users she was called a "Karen" by her friend.

She explained her hot chocolate was bitter and not sweet despite asking for sugar when ordering. You can read the original post here.

What is a 'Karen'?

Karen used to be one of the most popular names for newborns, but now parents are steering clear due to a viral meme that insinuated Karens are entitled or demanding.

The U.S. Social Security Administration revealed just 329 babies were named Karen in 2020, which represents 0.019 percent of total female births during that year. Karen was most popular in 2003, when 2,330 babies were given the name.

The original poster described the waitress as "very polite" and pointed out how she "apologized for the inconvenience" when asking for her hot chocolate to be remade.

Following this, her friend made a remark, she said: "My friend called me a Karen for first sending it back, which she said is rude, and second asking them to remake it instead of putting sugar in it. She never got nasty and said it in jest but was trying to make a point.

"My mum is called Karen and I really don't like that phrase. She's invited me for coffee this weekend and I don't want to go now."

The use of the word 'Karen' isn't 'befitting'

Newsweek spoke to Sam Owen, a relationship coach and published author based in Cheshire, England.

Sam Owen told Newsweek: "I feel like there are a few reasons why this lady does not feel like seeing this friend for another coffee date. The friend didn't empathize with the lady's perfectly reasonable request; furthermore, she proceeded to make her feel bad as though she had done something wrong when even the waitress didn't seem to think so; and additionally, called her a phrase that is actually her mum's name used in a derogatory way; plus, called her a name that has a very negative connotation and one that's not even befitting."

"I'm guessing the lady either feels like she doesn't know how to express her feelings or worse, knows deep down that even if she does, this friend will twist it around and make out as though the lady is being silly, sensitive or offensive in even questioning her intentions. If it is the latter of the two, it would explain why she doesn't want to meet up because she can't and/or doesn't want to pretend everything is OK and she believes that speaking up would be used against her."

"So if the lady is simply struggling to work out how to broach the subject with a genuine friend, she should plan exactly what she's going to say, in advance, and deliver the message calmly and confidently. But should she realize that her friend is not really her friend and that she frequently manipulates her or tries to make her feel bad when it isn't warranted, then it could be time to fizzle that friendship out. In my book Happy Relationships, I call this 'pause or prune,' where you either distance toxic relationships from your life or cut them out altogether. If someone repeatedly makes you 'feel bad,' emotionally and physically or frequently knocks your self-worth when in their company, then that is very telling. And they are not your friend."

What did other Mumsnet users say?

Over 160 users commented on the post and they are all saying the same thing.

One said: "I hate this whole thing of calling women Karens because they have the temerity to ask for things they are entitled to. Providing you are polite, which you were, there is no need for it. I think you need to talk to her—I'd have been very unhappy about that."

Another wrote: "I utterly hate the term, Karen. It's just another way to shut women up. Funny how there's no male equivalent. I don't see anything wrong with politely asking to have something re-made when it wasn't right."

"Yep, I also hate the use of Karen. I would have just said at the time, 'I know you're joking but I find it offensive because.… ' and then hopefully both moved on," said another.

Newsweek was not able to verify the details of the case.