Mom's Response to Woman Asking Where Her Four Kids Are While out Applauded

A woman has sparked discussion online for standing her ground on gender-balanced parenting.

In her Instagram video, Bethany Morris (@itsbethanymorris) spoke candidly about responding to an old friend at the store who asked her how she is out shopping with four kids at home. "Because I have a husband and he's a grown man, and he's watching his own children right now like he's supposed to," she told her. The video has received over 820,000 views and 47,000 likes.

"I'm at the store getting some stuff for our entire family to benefit from—I mean, even if I wasn't—he's a grown man. He's responsible. He's got it," she said.

Bethany continued: "If you're a mom and you can't leave the house because your spouse won't watch his own kids, that's a problem...daddies are parents too."

Her response received cheers in the comments, many from moms who resonate or empathize with other women who feel they cannot rely on their partners for childcare.

"Amen girl!! I can't tell you how many women I know who have of get a BABYSITTER to do something they want [because] dad 'doesn't feel comfortable' watching the kids alone," @sarahalexand_rn wrote.

"It really is a HUGE problem when you're in that situation," @ilovefountainpens said. "Despite being married, I was the sole caretaker for 'our' daughter. He had next to nothing to do with her and it was my job to take care of her 24/7, despite working 25 hours/week."

Some users noted that mothers may also need to make an active effort to let fathers take the reins.

"We are expecting our first right now and I die inside when people say, 'The mom is the go-to parent,'" @_rebeccamcnally_ wrote. "The father has all the same responsibilities as the mother. But we also have to allow them to have those same responsibilities."

It Takes Two To Break Out of Gender Expectations

Audrey Schoen, a licensed marriage and family therapist, previously told Newsweek that children are socialized to adhere to gender roles from the start.

"From a young age, [girls] take on caregiving roles, while also watching their mothers take responsibility for much of the daily family caregiving...Similarly, boys are socialized to be cared for as they watch their fathers abdicate these duties to the mother," Schoen said.

This makes invisible the caretaking labor performed by women, she said, leading to the reproduction of the imbalanced dynamic.

"Ultimately, women end up taking over or doing it themselves because it's 'easier,'" she said. "The wife's avoidance keeps the dynamic going by keeping her husband blind to the workload."

It takes two aware, willing partners to begin to shift the gender expectations involved in household maintenance—and parenting. Morris, in the caption to her video, gave a nod of appreciation to those doing the work.

"To the hands-on dads out there who are breaking generational norms, we're cheering for you," she said.