Mom Tries Parenting the 'European Way,' Shocked by Results

While most people look forward to the weekend, that wasn't the case for mom-of-two Rini Fey. She began to dread all the play dates, birthday parties, and visits to the local playground that filled her weekends.

In trying to keep up with the endless parenting demands, Fey, 34, from Calgary, Canada, found that she was spending every moment of Saturday and Sunday doing something just for her two children. Soon enough, she started dreading weekends because she felt exhausted and barely had any time to do anything for herself.

"I was so busy trying to plan activities to keep my toddler entertained. We'd go to the zoo, indoor playgrounds, kids' activities, and it was super busy, but there was nothing just for me to fill my cup," Fey told Newsweek.

However, having grown up in Europe, Fey was aware of the more-relaxed parenting style that is often adopted over there, and she decided it was time to take inspiration from that. Now, she spends Saturdays doing things for her, and Sunday is for her kids, aged 3 years and 6 months old.

"I felt like there was nothing for me to look forward to on weekends because I was too afraid to bring my kids along to things I enjoyed in case they got bored," Fey said. "My husband noticed that I was never really in a great mood, and that's when I realized that it's because I miss doing things for me.

"So now, once a week we will do it the European way. On Saturdays, we go grocery shopping, hiking, to the library, markets, or even coffee dates with friends; and on Sunday, we do one or two activities just for the kids."

Different Parenting Styles

Every parent will do things their own way, but parenting styles can differ between cultures. For example, it is often thought that European parenting consists of a more laidback approach, where parents don't have to give up their favorite pastimes for the sake of their child. They can still go to nice restaurants and take their son or daughter with them; they can stay up a bit later sometimes or grab a nice coffee on a Sunday morning if they wish.

Cristine Legare, a professor of psychology at The University of Texas at Austin, told Newsweek that American parents often feel a need to ensure that every opportunity is a chance to learn. She said that parenting in the U.S. has almost become "a competitive sport," as parents try to fill every minute with enriching experiences specifically designed for children.

While play dates and trips to the park are undoubtedly fun, Legare added that "balance is critical" for any parent. Additionally, taking children along to run errands can still be a learning experience, nonetheless.

Legare said: "Children of all ages should be given opportunities to experience a range of activities, including those that the entire family requires or enjoys. They need opportunities to participate in spaces that are not designed exclusively for them to learn the behavioral norms.

"Learning to adapt behavior to diverse environments is very beneficial, and it promotes the development of self-regulation and provides opportunities to learn new things from people of diverse backgrounds and a range of ages."

The Social Media Reaction

While there is no right or wrong way to raise a family, since Fey took on this approach, she feels much more refreshed as she says they have created a nice balance.

On February 4, the mom-of-two shared her experience in a video on Instagram (@ownitbabe). She said that it could be "the key to not feeling burned out" after every weekend. The post went viral with more than 8.5 million views and over 332,000 likes in a matter of weeks.

Fey told Newsweek: "The reaction overall has been great. Of course, there's always a lot of negativities surrounding any parenting content because parents love to judge unfortunately. But, overall, people reacted positively."

With more than 3,700 comments on her post already, many people shared their own experiences growing up, or how they are choosing to raise their children now, too. Fey added that, from the responses she has received, it seems that cultures in "most other countries" include their kids in daily activities.

Among the thousands of comments on the post, one Instagram user responded: "Kids will do anything they don't care they just wanna be with their parents."

Another person wrote: "Ugh I love this and it's the message I needed today. I've been dreading weekends for too long, time to change my perspective."

A third comment reads: "This would probably help so many moms from losing their sense of self and identity."

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