Mom Telling Daughter She Can't Move 1000 Miles Away With Girlfriend Slammed

The internet has dragged a mom who told her 21-year-old daughter that she can't move in with her girlfriend, who lives 1,000 miles away from them.

In a post shared on Reddit's Am I The A******? channel earlier this month, u/aitadaughtermoving said that her bright daughter had dropped out of her second year of college as she suffered from depression. And, much to her parents' surprise, she revealed that she had been feeling that way "for years." She now has a job that makes her happy—and a girlfriend she's been secretly dating for months.

During a recent visit, her daughter came out to her mom as a lesbian and revealed that the "friend" she had been talking about was actually her girlfriend, who she met online and lives 1,000 miles away. She also confessed that she recently flew out just to meet her.

"I was shocked and angry, but all I did was gently scold her for not telling me, but that I'm glad she's okay and that she had a good time with her girlfriend," the Redditor wrote. "I'm very new to this whole thing with my daughter, as I thought she was interested in men, but I'm willing to support her because I love her."

According to a 2022 Gallup poll, the percentage of Americans who are "satisfied" with the acceptance of gay and lesbian people across the country is increasing and has so far reached about 62 percent.

The Redditor said that the biggest bombshell was her daughter telling her that she would be moving to be with her girlfriend soon. She told her daughter it was "absolutely not" happening and that she shouldn't move away from her family "just for a girl."

Her daughter, however, told her that "regardless of her girlfriend, she's been wanting to move far away for years and that her girlfriend's state was on a list of potential places. She said she loved being there when she visited and can't wait to go back," the Redditor wrote.

Her daughter added that she "can't be [herself]" where she currently lives and "hates" it.

"In life, we should never be long, where we don't belong. It's such a profound statement, and when implemented, will become life-changing," certified life coach Marni Goldman told Newsweek.

"This extraordinary, brave young woman is on the right path to living her authentic life, being her authentic self while remaining true to who she is. Recognizing the depression, and finding a different job to bring much-deserved happiness is what self-care is all about! That is self-love!"

Goldman, the author of True to Myself, said that the Redditor's daughter should follow her heart and her dreams, because living to please others is the "ultimate act of deprivation we could do to ourselves."

"By owning your truth, and who you are, the right people will find you. We glow differently. I know it's easier said than done, but you need to cut the toxic dysfunctional cord from your mother. We only get one life to live with no do-overs," she said.

"Spend every moment you can with people who only bring out the best in you, not the stressed in you! I often tell people to put themselves in an imaginary 'peace bubble' If there is anyone who could potentially pop it, keep them away!

"As parents, most of us have one goal, to make sure our children are happy It's so disheartening when our feelings are invalidated. Feelings are not facts! It only matters what you think! We don't owe anyone an explanation of what we do and who we are."

Goldman offered the Redditor's daughter a bit of advice, starting with following her heart:

"By staying near your family, and not following your heart, they will continue to suck the life and joy right out of you! I'm so sorry you were scolded for you just being you! Go find your happiness! Go find your joy! Go where you feel most alive!

"Don't dim your light because other people can't see you shine," she added. "Remember, never let anyone dull your sparkle! Fall in love with being the best version of you!"

The Reddit post quickly went viral, receiving over 10,200 upvotes and 5,900 comments, many of them reminding the Redditor that she can't dictate what her adult daughter does.

One user, Radstarr, commented: "[You're The A******]. It seems like you don't know much about your daughter's personal life. And that's okay, because she doesn't need to share, she's not a teen living under your roof. The more you butt in and tell her what she can and can't do as an adult, the less you're going to see her. Have you considered that the reason she wants to leave at all is to get away from the restraints of her hometown and family?"

Another commenter, Baka-tari said: "She's 21, so, of course, she can move. What a ridiculous position to take! Your daughter is an adult, I'm pretty sure she's doing all sorts of things on her own without telling her parents. And she, apparently, doesn't want to be here. Hasn't wanted to be here for a long time. Yes, [You're The A******], and only getting more so with your additional protestations."

Redditor AgentAlpo wrote: "Your daughter is 21 and already living on her own. She's happy and excited about the direction her life is going. If things don't work out with the girlfriend, it still sounds like she's capable of taking care of herself.

"INFO: Is the area you live in a fairly conservative area? If you're in the US, is it a red state? If so, the fact that she's a lesbian was probably why she became withdrawn and did all the things that have surprised you. It's hard being queer in a conservative area, even if she's in a progressive city in a red state. I bet the girlfriend lives in a more progressive location.

"Now that she's finally out to you and you've been supportive in general, she feels more confident in her identity. Support her happiness. If moving ends up being a mistake, it's a mistake she has to learn from."

Newsweek reached out to u/aitadaughtermoving for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.

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