The internet has slammed a mom who is paying for her son's wedding after refusing to pay for his brother's.
In a post on Reddit's r/AmITheA****** forum u/PrimaryDiet5940 asked if she was "the a******" for paying for her son's wedding.
She explained: "My son is getting married to a wonderful woman. We loved her since the first day we met her. She was very nice and polite and very good with my granddaughter.
"We were all talking and wedding came up. We asked them what they are planning to do, and they told us they can't afford their dream wedding and their dream honeymoon so they are trying to decide which one to choose. I offered that they could do both and I'll pay half the price."
But agreeing to support her son and wife-to-be with the cost of their wedding caused tension within the family as her other son accused her of "showing favoritism."
Beverly Hills psychiatrist Carole Lieberman told Newsweek: "Favoritism can have devastating effects on siblings. Just look at Harry and William. Harry claims William was the favorite and Harry was only the 'Spare.' But these claims refer to William being born as the heir to the throne—not the recipient of a wedding. And it was not their mom's fault."
The poster explained: "My other son asked me why I'm paying for their wedding when I didn't pay for his. I told him that I didn't like his wife and he knows it. She has been very cold towards us since the first day we met and she hardly ever speaks to us. I can't be expected to pay for a wedding I don't approve of."
Online, the post gained over 11,000 upvotes and more than 2,600 comments. The replies overwhelmingly slammed the mom for choosing to pay for one son's wedding and not the other's.
"You sound like King Lear, handing out cash to the kids that kiss your a** the most," said one commenter. While another said: "YTA [you're the a******]. Not because you're paying for the wedding, but for treating your other son like that. No wonder your daughter-in-law doesn't like you."
"He said I'm showing favoritism. I told him I'm not, I didn't pay for his brother's first wedding either so in order not to show favoritism I'm willing to pay for his next wedding," said the mom. "He blew up at me and called me an a****** and left."
"Damn," said one reply after reading the mom's words. "That hurt me and I'm not your son. You're the a****** for saying that, but the petty in me respect the shade."
Lieberman explained: "In this case, it's hard to determine whether the mother is playing favorites, though it is clear that she's controlling. She's trying to use payment for their wedding as a way to control her sons' choices of a wife.
"The mom has found a way of not playing favorites by agreeing to pay for the 'second' wedding of the son whose first wedding she didn't pay for," she added. "She's trying to control him by getting him to divorce his wife and marry a woman who would be warmer to her. This is controlling and unfair, but admittedly very creative."
Newsweek reached out to u/PrimaryDiet5940 for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.
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Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.
About the writer
Alice Gibbs is a Newsweek Senior Internet Trends & Culture Reporter based in the U.K. For the last two years ... Read more
