Mom Banning Girl From Trick-or-Treating Over Her Miscarriage Remark Backed

A mom-of-one has detailed the circumstances that led to her disinviting her 10-year-old daughter's friend from trick-or-treating with them this Halloween.

According to a survey conducted by Statista, 69 percent of Americans said they were planning on taking part in Halloween this year in what represents a return to the levels of participation seen prior to the pandemic.

However, at least one young child's involvement has been thrown into doubt after she was banned from joining her best friend on October 31 over a remark made about her mom previously suffering a miscarriage.

Writing in a Reddit post upvoted 7,800 times, the mom said the bust-up stemmed from a recent playdate at their house.

"After about an hour of playing, my daughter comes out of her room in tears," she wrote. "I asked her what was wrong, and she said 'niece [her friend] told me you unalived my little brother.'"

Posting under the handle IronFancy9420, the mom explained that she had a miscarriage several years ago. "It was an extremely traumatizing experience as I almost died in the process," she said.

When she confronted her daughter's friend over why she would say such a thing, her response was: "Well, it's true. Baby B died in you, so you unalived him."

When she asked the girl where she heard this she said: "My mom told me that's what happened." Furious at this response and the fact the girl's mom, who is a close friend, had told her this, she decided to cut the playdate short.

The girl's mom arrived soon after, but failed to address her daughter's behavior, instead stating: "Well, it's not a lie. Baby B died inside you. That in turn means you unalived him."

This made the other mom furious. She asked them to leave and, as they were heading out, informed the girl she was "no longer coming trick or treating with us."

Commenting on the story, Abbe Feder, a fertility coach at InCircle Fertility, told Newsweek: "Here's the thing about triggers: we never know when they're going to strike. Maybe we've done the hard work on a past trauma, like a miscarriage, but then a message or word or remark brings it all back in one second.

"Sometimes we have to set boundaries and say no. It is a way to protect mental health. Most likely, the child or children involved have no idea that they'd remotely trigger their aunt. But that means it's not being talked about in a sensitive way at home, which can be so hurtful and triggering.

"Miscarriage doesn't simply rob you in the moment, at the moment. It is the loss of a long term dream, and any comment can easily bring up the hurt."

Though the girl's mom branded her a "horrible person" for banning her daughter, many on social media felt her response was justified in the circumstances.

UnusuallyScented said: "She is not much of a friend. Stay away from such people."

Curious-One4595 was similarly critical of the girl's mom for defending her daughter, writing: "A friend would make this right, even if it was difficult."

Crystallz2000 commented: "she doesn't care how much what she said hurt you and she was perfectly okay with her daughter hurting your child," while Silent_Syd241 added: "Cut them people out of your life and move on. Anyone spreading that type of insensitive BS about you to a child isn't much of a friend. The fact that she says some c*** like that is gross."

Newsweek reached out to u/IronFancy9420 for comment. We couldn't verify the details of the case.