Man Throwing Out Brother's Expensive 40th Birthday Gift Cheered: 'Cruel'

A recovering alcoholic who was given a bottle of whiskey for his birthday has been backed online after throwing it away.

In a post on Reddit Tuesday, user u/Throwwway987 shared how he had just celebrated his 40th birthday, but one gift had ruined celebrations and caused a family argument.

"I'm divorced and have 2 teenage kids with my ex-wife. My whole family came to my and my girlfriend's apartment last Saturday for my birthday party—my parents, some aunts and uncles, some cousins, my 3 brothers with their families, my two kids," he wrote.

"I am a recovered alcoholic, I've been sober for 6 years now. Alcohol absolutely ruined my life, it destroyed my marriage and nuked my relationship with my kids for years. I don't allow alcohol in my home now, for anyone. It just isn't served or tolerated here. My entire family knows this very well, as they know my entire history with alcohol."

Because of his history with alcohol, the Redditor explained he was shocked when his brother presented him with an expensive bottle of whiskey as a gift.

"It had writing on it, a very heavy bottle and very old whiskey, so it probably cost him a couple hundred bucks," said the poster. "When he gave me the bottle, I was shocked, and said I don't drink, but thanks for the gift. He then opened the bottle and started pouring shots in plastic cups for everyone."

George F. Koob is the director of the National Institute of Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA). He told Newsweek: "For someone early in recovery from severe alcohol disorder, being around alcohol in a social setting or having it in their home could lead to uncomfortable cravings and potentially a return to alcohol use. For other people, even those with years of commitment and involvement in recovery, recovery can be fragile. Stressful events can culminate in a return to use even after years of recovery, particularly in the context of alcohol-related cues."

When the man asked his brother to stop pouring the alcohol and put it out on the balcony out of the way, he refused and proceeded to take a shot.

"He then said I am acting like a sober saint now, when I ruined everyone's birthdays for years with my drinking," said the poster. "I told him to come to the hallway with me and talk it out. He refused and put a glass of whiskey in my hand."

OP refused to drink and instead got rid of the bottle altogether.

"I took the trash can, threw the whiskey bottle in it and the plastic cups and took the trash out," he said.

His brother promptly stormed out, followed by his mom.

"[My mom] called me demanding an apology for disrespecting my brother like that. My dad said I was being overly sensitive, and some of my other family members also agree," explained the poster.

But he took to the internet to ask "AITA [Am I the a******]?"

"What your brother did is really, really awful and cruel. Possibly the worst gift I've ever heard of someone giving another, especially as he is aware of your struggles and recovery," said one comment on Reddit with over 35,000 upvotes.

Another wrote: "Your brother clearly has some lingering resentment and issues about your past but instead of talking to you about it like an adult, he chose the pettiest, most passive aggressive, and most inappropriate way to address it."

"I'm a recovering alcoholic, too and I'd have physically removed anyone from my house for "gifting" me a bottle of alcohol," said another comment. "Your family is crazy, and your brother is abhorrent."

"Clearly, the gentlemen receiving the whiskey as a gift did not find it appropriate given his commitment to recovery," said Koob. "He must have decided that, for him, keeping alcohol around was simply not an option. The best would be to ask the person giving the whisky to take it back or to share it with someone who would appreciate it. It should be equivalent to what you would do with any gift that you do not need or do not want or a piece of clothing that does not fit."

Newsweek reached out to u/Throwwway987 for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.

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