It's pretty much impossible these days to go to the movies and not see a trailer for an upcoming 3-D release—that is, if you're not seeing a 3-D movie to begin with. But it's not just new movies that are now bursting off the screen; studios are remastering every old Tom, Dick, and Harry Potter into 3-D films. Now, it's Titanic's turn. James Cameron confirmed to MTV that he will follow the lead of other remastering directors, like George Lucas, who's promised to re-release the three original Star Wars movies, and Tim Burton, who's practically cornered the 3-D market. And while remastering is becoming increasingly common, we have to say: we're not sure it's right. Aren't we setting an alarming precedent here? Will any movie be spared?
Now that Titanic is taking the plunge into these icy, oh-so-chartered waters, we rate some of the splashiest 3-D releases of the coming months (links to trailers):
CANNOT WAIT: Avatar. There's a reason it took 14 years to make this movie: James Cameron's initial vision couldn't be executed due to technological limitations—ones that no longer exist. From what we hear, the result breaks the mold for sci-fi movies. Even the measly footage in the teaser trailer is enough to see that the film will be an incredible spectacle. Because of this, is the rare 3-D release that propels the genre forward, instead of smearing lipstick on a pig.
GROOVY: Alice in Wonderland. Director Tim Burton was an early adopter of 3-D, and this multicolor dream of a movie looks like a dazzling, overstimulating mix of live action and subconscious conjuring. Just like Lewis Carroll intended.
MILDLY EXCITING: Toy Story franchise.Toy Story and will each have a limited two-week run in October and February, respectively, and if Pixar showed us anything with it's that they can make 3-D a subtle and seamless art. Still, we've already seen the movies and, while they're great, it's not like the computer-generated animation didn't pop before.
ON THE BUBBLE: Titanic: 3D. A big part of us is heaving an ocean-liner-size sigh over this one: something about seeing T-I-T-A-N-I-C spelled on our local theater marquee makes us feel like we've barely advanced as a society in 12 years. But is, to its core, a disaster movie—more so than a romance or a period drama. And seeing the spectacular sinking effects in 3-D—and maybe Kate's alabaster ... —would be worth a ticket.
SIGH: Shrek Forever After. We know the Shrek movies are all about acceptance of things like in-your-face farts, but we can't help rolling our eyes. At least there's a blessed hint at finality in the title.
ANNOYING: Beauty and the Beast. Not even sure how this is going to work. Yes, looks flat and old school compared to today's CGI kid's movies, but that's part of the charm. This 1991 fairy tale is the only full-length animated film to be nominated for a best-picture Academy Award. (Sorry, .) Why mess with (near) perfection?
REALLY ANNOYING: Final Destination 4. This movie about some kids cheating death—then dying off, one by one—has the potential to be the most exploitative 3-D movie ever made, if the promising trailer hasn't misled us. There are pebbles flying out from under lawn mowers; plumbing pipes coming unglued and decapitating people; shrapnel from a car explosion beaning a girl in the noggin. On second thought, maybe this movie will be awesome.
THE WORST: Step Up: 3-D. People saw the first because it had Channing Tatum, back before he was G.I. Joe. The second found a box-office boon in a long weekend. No way people are going to be tricked into this third installment. Unless Zac Efron makes a surprise appearance and gives a lap dance.
Uncommon Knowledge
Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.
Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.
