Outrage as Dad Pays $50K per Year for Son's Dream School but not Daughter's

A father has split the internet with a Reddit post where he writes that he happily pays for his son's college tuition, but won't do the same for his daughter.

In the post, the Redditor NewOffice2404, aged 49, explains that his son Jake, 23, is following in the family tradition and studying to be a dentist, with the potential to earn up to $200,000 a year.

The dad writes how he is paying for his son's tuition and living expenses, which come to roughly $50,000 a year. He adds that his daughter Nikki, 17, "like her brother is a good student and will have a good chance of getting in to her dream school," but like her brother, has a low chance of getting any scholarships.

Nikki's dream job is a middle-school teacher, and her father posted on Reddit: "Her dream school is also a very good one located in the middle of a very expensive city. Tuition and living expenses will be roughly $75,000 a year."

The father posted: "The problem is that the salary for middle school teachers in our area is $48,000-$60,000 in our area. I fully realize that she can move and work elsewhere but I can't imagine there are many middle school teacher in the US making 6 figures. I don't view paying $300,000+ for a career that tops out at $60,000 as a wise investment."

According to U.S. News and World Report, the best-paying cities for middle-school teachers are Bakersfield, California (where they can earn up to $101,970); New York; Los Angeles; Bridgeport, Connecticut; and Riverside in California.

The dad continued: "I told my daughter that the state school that's 2 hours away have a good education program and her instate tuition and living expenses will only be about $20,000 a year. I view paying $80,000 for a teaching degree as a much better investment."

Despite trying to discuss the situation with her daughter, "she gets distraught every time I've brought it up," he wrote. "She cries and accuses me of favoring Jake and being a sexist which is not true.

"I told her if she picks a major with a $100,000 starting salary, I'll gladly pay for her to go to her dream school but there's no way I'm paying $300,000 for her to be a teacher. Now she's got family members involved. Some are staying out of it, some agree with me, and some are telling me not to play favorites."

Ruth E. Freeman LCSW, founder and president of Peace At Home Parenting Solutions, told Newsweek: "The good news here is that dad is taking some time to reflect and ask for feedback about his decision regarding his daughter's education. Something inside of him is sensing that his highly rational approach may be missing some element of love and humanity.

"The disappointing news is dad looking at his children's education as an 'investment.' That POV seems a bit transactional from this parenting educator's perspective. His daughter is on a mission that she has dreamt of since her childhood," Freeman added.

"Positive psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi defined a mental state called 'flow' in which a person is completely focused and absorbed in an activity in a way that creates enjoyment for the person.

"The field of positive psychology examines what makes people happy and doing activities that put us in a state of flow, or in 'the zone,' is actually associated with true happiness. Isn't that what we want most for our kids?" Freeman said.

"There is a good chance that this father's daughter will be in a field that brings her happiness and a meaningful life. We can't say that parents owe their children a college education or graduate school. And it is totally reasonable for parents to cap what they are willing to contribute to a child's education. But, basing that decision entirely on future economic gain does seem limited in perspective and compassion."

Freeman continued: "Given the state of the world right now, the number of children suffering from learning loss, the dramatically increased rates of pediatric mental-health problems, and the number of teachers we have lost to pandemic burnout, Dad might want to 'invest' in his daughter having a meaningful career that makes her happy and indeed can make an important difference in the world."

Users were scathing of the father's actions on Reddit.

Dapper_Cantaloupe_34 wrote: "Teachers are notoriously overworked and underpaid and she won't be able to afford to pay back student loans as easily as your son. You're a pretty horrible dad for even asking this to be honest. That is the most blatant sexiest favoritism I've ever seen in my entire life."

Redditor philosopherofsex commented: "It's status. He isn't investing financially in the projected salary. He's investing in the status of having a high earning child."

Newsweek has reached out to u/NewOffice2404 for comment.