Newlywed Taking $50K From Parents for Wedding but Eloping Instead Cheered

Weddings can be an expensive event so monetary gifts towards the big day are much appreciated. But what happens if the couple decide to put the cash towards something else?

In a vial Reddit post shared by u/Important-Writing889, explained their brothers were given $50,000 when they graduated for college to go towards a mortgage.

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"When I graduated they did not do the same for me. I asked about it and they said my husband should provide. I wasn't married. I still lived at home," they wrote.

Fast forward three years, the original poster met her now husband and the parents were "overjoyed" when they found out about the engagement. So much so, that their dad instantly wrote a $50,000 check.

"I took the check and we eloped. We then used the check for a down payment on a house. My husband had a similar amount saved up so we are in a good spot with equity," they wrote.

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In 2023, the average combined wedding ceremony and reception spend was $35,000, according to The Knot Real Weddings Study. The results also found that newlyweds paid for roughly 48 percent of their wedding costs, and their parents typically paid the remainder of the bill.

In the comments, they explained: "We decided that we were not going to blow that kind of money on a wedding."

Instead, they spent $500 and tied the knot in a county clerk's office with six friends and the parents present.

"My parents [are] furious that they didn't get a big wedding for all their friends and family to attend," they wrote. "They said that they gave me the money for a wedding. My argument is that I got married and had leftover money. Accurate in my books."

Should You Accept Monetary Gifts from Family?

Newsweek discussed the post that has 11,000 upvotes with the editor of Hitched.co.uk, Zoe Burke. She explained that eloping can save money as there's less catering and a smaller venue is required.

She said: "There are pros and cons as with any kind of wedding celebration—and those should be taken in consideration as you plan your wedding.

"Whether or not you accept money from your parents or family to do this will come down to how the money is offered—if it is given as a gift then it should be no-strings-attached and the couple should be able to choose to spend it however they like.

"If it's given with specific conditions, these should be adhered to, or you should turn the money down if you don't want to. It is quite an old-fashioned take for parents to dictate how money is spent on a wedding, so I would encourage anyone in this tricky situation to have a clear and honest discussion around expectations so neither side is caught by surprise."

Reddit Reacts

So far, the post shared on April 28 has amassed over 1,000 comments and the top one has 13,000 upvotes.

It said: "NTA [Not the A******], your family is being horrible and is using a b******* double standard. They didn't expect your brothers to use that money for a big wedding, but you have to.

"They wouldn't have helped you get a home unless it was through marriage, but your brothers didn't have that condition and just got the money. And they expected you to have a huge wedding so that they could have fun.

"Saving up the money is the responsible thing to do and they're being bad parents if they'd rather you spent it all in a huge wedding you don't even want."

Another user said: "I would be proud of you to make such a smart financial decision."

"NTA you used the money for a down payment on your home, just like your brothers. If your parents want a huge party, tell them to host a vow renewal for themselves. A home and successful marriage is much more important & lasting than a wedding reception," said a third commenter.

Newsweek has reached out to u/Important-Writing889 for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.

Has a wedding come between your relationship with a loved one? Let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.