A newlywed woman has been slammed after she asked her uncle to cover the down payment on a house, despite splashing out $35,000 of her parents' money on a lavish wedding.
In a now viral Reddit post, u/BluntSpeakingUncle explained that when his three children got engaged, he offered to either pay for the wedding, or host it at the family lake house and use the money as a down payment on a home instead. The 54-year-old explains that his children all chose to wed at the family property, "so all three are homeowners" now as a result.
They may have made a long-term decision to opt for a house rather than a lavish wedding, but the poster's niece, referred to as Sierra, recently got married and it seems that no expenses were spared.
The post reads: "My sister admitted to me that she and her husband paid over $35,000 for [Sierra's] wedding at a venue on the coast. They had to dip into their home equity for most of that money."
It's thought that the average American wedding cost around $30,000 in 2022, according to wedding company The Knot. Since 2017, data shows that the cost was consistently around the $28,000 mark but has risen substantially in the last year due to inflation.
Sierra was "offered the same deal" as her cousins, but she chose to have the dream wedding instead. However, after seeing them all relishing life in their new homes, Sierra became envious and asked her uncle to cover the down payment for her as well.
"I reminded Sierra that my kids have homes because, instead of blowing $35,000 on a dream wedding, they spent far less to get married at the grandparents' lake house, so the money they would have spent went to their down payment," the Reddit post continues.
"I also reminded her that her mother offered her the same deal, but she refused because she wanted her wedding to be, in her own words, better than theirs. Most importantly, I said that I'm not going to disrespect my own children's wise financial decisions by rewarding her foolish decision."
Although the niece might have thought this was the easiest way of getting the money, Joseph Camberato, the CEO of NationalBusinessCapital.com, suggests that this is the perfect chance for the uncle to mentor her in financial independence.
Camberato told Newsweek: "It's understandable that the niece would be disappointed by her uncle's decision, but the author has a valuable opportunity here for some important life lessons. Instead of providing the money, they can mentor the niece in effective money management strategies.
"That guidance can better prepare her and her husband for the challenges of saving for a down payment. Beyond that, they can offer support in areas like job hunting, career development, and the complexities of the home-buying process. These skills will serve her well long after the home purchase is complete."
As a business expert, Camberato, from New York, regularly helps entrepreneurs gain capital, and he suggested that the niece is lacking perspective as she hasn't had to deal with major financial planning before.
"She appears to have focused intensely on this particular dream without considering the broader financial landscape," he said.
Since the Reddit post was shared on September 17, many people have backed the uncle for refusing to give his niece the money, even though she "left in tears." The post has amassed over 8,000 votes and 3,600 comments, many of which insist that he did the right thing.
One comment reads: "She sounds amazingly entitled. I could never imagine going to a relative's house and asking for $35K. Unthinkable. Especially after blowing that much on a wedding."
Another Reddit user commented: "Speaking the truth, plainly and directly, at the precise moment that it's required, can be uncomfortable. But it's a necessary discomfort, and some lessons can't be watered down or packaged up nicely with a bow."
"She wanted her cake and to eat it, and also to have a live-in baker producing cakes forever," wrote another Redditor.
Newsweek reached out to u/BluntSpeakingUncle via Reddit for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.
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Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.
About the writer
Alyce Collins is a Newsweek Life and Trends reporter based in Birmingham, U.K. with a focus on trending topics that ... Read more
