Bride Who Angered Family by Banning Alcohol at Wedding Defends Decision

A bride's reason for banning alcohol at her wedding has split opinions online, and has caused a rift with her family.

Posting to Reddit on June 14, user u/Fragrant_Roof_8360 wrote that she is planning her wedding, scheduled for May 2024. However, an argument began while discussing ideas with her aunt and mother, after she said that there will be no alcohol at the celebration.

"I chose not to serve alcohol for a variety of reasons, chief among them being that I didn't want my heavy-drinking relatives to drive home drunk," the 25-year-old woman told Newsweek.

"Another major reason was because these relatives typically get very disruptively drunk; falling over, puking, being obscene, the whole nine yards," the poster said. "I didn't want to deal with that on my wedding day."

Research by wedding-planner website Zola found that the average wedding will cost $29,000 in 2023—17 percent more than the pre-COVID-19 average of $24,700. Catering fees are the second-biggest cost for couples, between $6,500 and $10,000 on average, almost as much as the venue itself.

The fight began after her aunt asked Fragrant_Roof_8360 what cocktails she would be serving at the reception. "She was shocked and asked what everyone was going to drink. I told her there would be water, sweet tea, lemonade, fruit-punch, and soda available," the Reddit user wrote.

In response, her aunt said that serving soda and other sweet drinks was "unhealthy," so the poster told her to stick to water. Nevertheless, her aunt refused to let the matter drop, asking if she and other family members could bring their own alcohol. "I said no because it's my wedding and fiancé and I would feel responsible for drunk guests," the poster wrote.

"We also want to have a wedding that's fun and happy because everyone there loves each other and is happy to celebrate their family/our union," she added.

Her aunt replied that, since the ceremony isn't being held in a church, the poster could at least "make up for it with a good reception." Tired of her aunt's rudeness, Fragrant_Roof_8360 told her that "if she can't go one evening without drinking, then maybe she's the one with a problem."

Offended, they left shortly afterward. The next day, her aunt complained about the "dry wedding" on Facebook, dividing their family. "I didn't expect my aunt to press things this badly, but I did expect complaints and pushback," the poster said.

"I would honestly love to have some booze at my reception, but I can't do that because of these family members and I can't NOT invite them," she added.

Along with concerns about her family's alcohol-induced behavior, budgetary restraints are also a worry for Fragrant_Roof_8360. Her family expects her to cover the costs of the alcohol and would be "insulted" by the concept of a cash bar.

Fellow Reddit users backed Fragrant_Roof_8360, but opinions on whether an alcohol-free wedding is a good idea were mixed. "Your wedding, your rules," commented Inspiredtosleep.

"Honestly, what's with people not being able to attend a single sober party? If you need alcohol to feel fun, maybe the problem is really alcohol," agreed Sunny_Hill_1.

"At the end of the day, you're going to celebrate people and whatever the couple decides to do," wrote Sad-Veterinarian1060.

Others wrote that people may leave early, with rxc67 commenting that "Dry wedding receptions usually suck."

"I find large parts of them dull even when somewhat lubricated. And I don't even drink very much," agreed MTBpixie.

"Alcohol fuels the party and encourages breaking the ice with strangers," wrote ACAB_easy_as_123. "So there is definitely a risk of a wedding that isn't very lively and that people leave early from."

User ssccrs posted: "There is nothing wrong with having the wedding day you want, but there is equally nothing wrong for people wanting to spend their time how they see fit."

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